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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Professional athletes, such as football and basketball players, should not be paid the high salaries that they receive from their teams.

Professional athletes, such as football and basketball players, should not be paid the high salaries that they receive from their teams. pb9V3
Athletes nowadays earn a lot of money so much that it is unfair for people who work endlessly to feed their families. It is not worth paying a high wage for a player, while others argue it will be essential for athletes’ high salaries because of their outstanding skills and cooperation. In my opinion, it is unfair to pay so much to an athlete just because they have outstanding talent and physique it doesn’t mean they can live better than people who work day and night just to pay one bill. Firstly, people who don’t have any talent for sports have to study, work hard to get a proper job that has an appropriate salary to feed a family. However, most athletes are not well-educated. Most elite sportsmen do not have the diploma of graduate education. They only study in high schools and after that devote most of their time to physical education. It is an unjust world, where athletes earn more than those who give their life to education, thus illustrating the biased salary system. Secondly, it is worth bearing in mind the fact that usually, we can find many shortages in society which need financial help. From, a sociological standpoint with the money which could be earned by diminishing the amount of salary of athletes we can improve for example education system in the countryside and rural places or we can improve public transportation in cities and these improvements in facilities would have more demand in society instead of high salary of an athlete who plays in a game for some hours. To make a long story short, all the aforementioned reasons and examples lead us to the conclusion that athletes should be paid in comparison with other parts of society. All in all, I predict decreasing the salary of athletes would have better consequences for society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Athletes
nowadays earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much that it is unfair for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
work
endlessly
to feed their families. It is not worth paying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wage for a player, while others argue it will be essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their outstanding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and cooperation. In my opinion, it is unfair to pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have outstanding talent and physique it doesn’t mean they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
work day and night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to pay one bill.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
don’t have any talent for sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study, work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a proper job that has an appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
to feed a family.
However
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
are not well-educated. Most elite sportsmen do not have the diploma of graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
schools and after that devote most of their time to physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. It is an unjust world, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
earn more than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
give their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
thus
illustrating the biased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
system.

Secondly
, it is worth bearing in mind the fact that
usually
, we can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
shortages in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
which need financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. From, a sociological standpoint with the money which could
be earned
by diminishing the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
for example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system in the countryside and rural
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
places or
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
public transportation in cities and these improvements in facilities would have more demand in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
plays in a game for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hours.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a long story short, all the aforementioned reasons and examples lead us to the conclusion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
should
be paid
in comparison
with other parts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. All in all, I predict decreasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
would have better consequences for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay Professional athletes, such as football and basketball players, should not be paid the high salaries that they receive from their teams.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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