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process of making aerated drinks

process of making aerated drinks ebqOx
The image depicts the procedure followed in preparing aerated drinks. Overall, there are five steps involved, firstly, there is cleansing of water which is followed by evaporation and carbonation, mixing in a tank, filtration and filling and finally packing. The first and foremost step is to purify the raw water by straining it, subsequently it is treated with water softener and some chemical compunds. It is later pumped into a heater, from which the water then runs via a pipe that brings down its temperature. At this stage, carbon dioxide is added to the fluid. Coming to the later stages, the said carbonised fluid is held in a mixing tank where quite a few substances are added, namely, colour, syrup and flavour. This liquid is further clarified and poured into bottles. Amongst them, a few can be filled into cans too. They are neately sorted out into packages which are later sent to various stores for bussiness.
The image depicts the procedure followed in preparing aerated drinks.

Overall
, there are five steps involved,
firstly
, there is cleansing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
which
is followed
by evaporation and carbonation, mixing in a tank, filtration and filling and
finally
packing.

The
first
and foremost step is to purify the raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
by straining it,
subsequently
it
is treated
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
softener and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
chemical
Possible spelling mistake found.
compunds
. It is later pumped into a heater, from which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
then runs via a pipe that brings down its temperature. At this stage, carbon dioxide is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the fluid.

Coming to the later stages, the said
Possible spelling mistake. 'carbonised' is British English.
carbonised
fluid
is held
in a mixing tank where quite a few substances are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
,
namely
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
, syrup and
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
. This liquid is
further
clarified and poured into bottles. Amongst them, a few can
be filled
into cans too. They are
Possible spelling mistake found.
neately
sorted out into packages which are later
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to various stores for
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussiness
.
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IELTS essay process of making aerated drinks

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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