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A GENERAL SURVEY: WHY “NO” TO SPORTS?

A GENERAL SURVEY: WHY “NO” TO SPORTS? Xl0xE
On 29th June 2021, I surveyed the students of the 5000 ‘E’ batch, regarding the causes for their lack of interest in sports. Among 135 students, I found that 40 of them had a keen interest in sports, who didn’t contribute much to the survey. However, the rest 95 students provided reasons of their own, for not participating in sports activities. I have tried to cover them up in three major points. It was interesting to know that about two-thirds of the students in the survey, blamed their attitude for their lack of interest in sports. Most of the students think that involving themselves in sports is a way to kill time; instead, they prefer to study in their leisure time. In contrast, some students lack enough time to enjoy sports due to the extra classes and tuitions they have in the morning and evening. Secondly, students also complained about parent’s priority. The majority of the parents emphasize on academic performance of their children. Parents see no benefit for their children for taking part in sports; moreover, they want their children to focus a lot on academics. For instance, this has added the number of tuition lessons, as already mentioned before. With no wonder, lack of enough facilities was also one of the main issues raised by the students. Some of the students, who loved sports mentioned the lack of enough equipment required in sports along with the poor conditions of the playgrounds. The level of soil in each of the football grounds vary which has made the grounds uneven. Moreover, the cracks in basketball courts are not maintained in time. The rainy season fills up the grounds and tracks with water; at the same time, makes the courts slippery. Also, the number of sports equipment does not meet the demand of all the students; in addition, most of them are damaged. To increase the number of sports participation in the 5000 ‘E’ batch, I put forward some of the suggestions. First of all, students should be stressed about the importance of sports by the concerned authorities as well as the pastoral members of the house they reside in. Secondly, I strongly recommend having a meeting with parents about the importance of their children’s involvement in sports. This can be done by convincing them about sport’s effect on student’s physical and mental health. Organizing several sports competitions and awarding the winners with prizes can engage the students in sports. Finally, the school can improve the facilities for the students and employ qualified trainers to increase their interest in sports. With timely maintenance of courts, grounds, and fields of Budhanilkantha School, students won’t face any difficulty while playing games and they will enjoy them. Also, the appointment of qualified trainers can help the students to learn sports with proper rules and regulations, ultimately increasing their interest. This can act as a golden opportunity for the students who are pursuing to make their careers in sports in the future. To sum up, the survey helped to recognize the problems of students towards the sports sector of Budhanilkantha School as well as the reasons for their lack of interest in sports. I hope that the school implements the suggestions that I have put forward to increase the interest of students in sports. I believe that these ways can catch the attention of students in sports, and increase their participation as well.
On 29th June 2021, I surveyed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of the 5000 ‘E’ batch, regarding the causes for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Among 135
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, I found that 40 of them had a keen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, who didn’t contribute much to the survey.
However
, the rest 95
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
provided reasons of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, for not participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities. I have tried to cover them up in three major points.

It was interesting to know that about two-thirds of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the survey, blamed their attitude for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that involving themselves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is a way to kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
;
instead
, they prefer to study in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
due to the extra classes and
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions
they have in the morning and evening.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
also
complained about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
priority. The majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
emphasize on academic performance of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
no benefit for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
;
moreover
, they want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to focus a lot on academics.
For instance
, this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
the number of tuition lessons, as already mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

With no wonder,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
facilities was
also
one of the main issues raised by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
mentioned the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
equipment required in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
along with the poor conditions of the playgrounds. The level of soil in each of the football grounds vary which has made the grounds uneven.
Moreover
, the cracks in basketball courts are not maintained in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The rainy season fills up the grounds and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
with water; at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the courts slippery.
Also
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
equipment does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demand of all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
;
in addition
, most of them
are damaged
.

To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
participation in the 5000 ‘E’ batch, I put forward
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
suggestions.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
about the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
by the concerned authorities
as well
as the pastoral members of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
they reside in.
Secondly
, I
strongly
recommend having a meeting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
about the importance of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
involvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. This can
be done
by convincing them about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport’s
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
physical and mental health. Organizing several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
competitions and awarding the winners with prizes can engage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in sports.

Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the facilities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and employ qualified trainers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. With timely maintenance of courts, grounds, and fields of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Budhanilkantha
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
won’t face any difficulty while playing
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
games and
they will enjoy them.
Also
, the appointment of qualified trainers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
with proper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations,
ultimately
increasing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
. This can act as a golden opportunity for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are pursuing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their careers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in the future.

To sum up, the survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to recognize the problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sector of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Budhanilkantha
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
as well
as the reasons for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. I hope that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
implements the suggestions that I have put forward to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. I believe that these ways can catch the attention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
their participation
as well
.
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IELTS essay A GENERAL SURVEY: WHY “NO” TO SPORTS?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
568 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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