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Problem and solution to global warming

Problem and solution to global warming Epe63
One of the burning issues of today's world is global heating. For a long time humans did not pay attention to come across this problem. Up to this time it is the hugest one which we have to solve it. There are a lot of causes in global warming. Firstly people are continuously using greenhouses gases. They grow far too many vegetables, plants, trees which they need. Secondly Factories burn fossil fuels in order to produce goods. As a result ashes affect to air pollution. We can not deny the fact that this issue is harmful to people's health and life. What do we need to solve this problem? First solution to this issue is the government constantly checks gases in factories. Due to the fact that it will reduce. Otherwise after years people's life absolutely changes to another view. Another criterion of rising temperature we humans should reduce using aerosols, fossil fuels, carbon dioxides. Consequently we save our atmosphere. To sum up we have to remember it we do not inherit the earth from our ancestors but borrow it from our future generation and responsibilities lies on our shoulders to bequeath them a healthy planet for life to exist.
One of the burning issues of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world is global heating.

For a long time humans did not pay attention to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across this problem. Up to this time it is the hugest one which we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
solve it. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
causes in global warming.
Firstly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
continuously
using greenhouses gases. They grow far too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vegetables, plants, trees which they need.
Secondly


Factories burn fossil fuels in order to produce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result ashes affect to air pollution.

We can not deny the fact that this issue is harmful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health and life. What do we need to solve this problem?

First
solution to this issue is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
gases in factories. Due to the fact that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
after years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to another view.

Another criterion of rising temperature we humans should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
using aerosols, fossil fuels, carbon dioxides.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
we save our atmosphere.

To sum up we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
remember it we do not inherit the earth from our ancestors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
borrow it from our future generation and responsibilities lies on our shoulders to bequeath them a healthy planet for life to exist.

IELTS essay Problem and solution to global warming

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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