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There are many animal species close to endangered. Some say that only animals that are beneficial to people should be protected. Do you agree or disagree?

There are many animal species close to endangered. Some say that only animals that are beneficial to people should be protected. JLEb0
Animal is real substantial element for human beings. Over recent years, more funds have been allocated to save the threatened animals, although some people claim that only of those give advantageous to human life. Therefore, I argue that only beneficial animal should be considered to be saved. To support that agreement, several explanations have been gained. First and foremost, saving all the world's endangered animal will cost a great amount of money. In other side, many people are starving or suffering hazardous disease in many parts of world that need to support by expenditure. According to news from The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC), the study in 2012 envisaged that preserving threatened land animals would cost $76 billion or around £49 billion a year, while it would cost more if our targets are entire marine species. Moreover, it is a fact that extinction is a natural process. Before human existed in the earth, several mass extinctions had occurred. The viable example can be seen from the extinction of dinosaurs. It is estimated that around 65 million years ago, the dinosaurs vanished without any intervention from human. However, some people disagree about that statement. They argue that the most obvious reason is about ecological value. In human-social science, we learn that human is social creature. As like human, individual plant and animal cannot live by itself. Each animal depends on other animal or plant, and vice versa. One animal or plant extinction can disturb other organisms that interact with it. For instance, based on the U. S. Fish and Wildlife Service, the disappearance of one plant or animal can tend to the vanishment of 30 other creatures. To sum up, it is evident that saving endangered animals cost a great amount of money. Although some people think preserving all threatened animals is a must, it is proofed that only animal which can give beneficial to human life should be saved.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animal
is real substantial element for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings. Over recent years, more funds have
been allocated
to save the threatened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
of those give advantageous to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life.
Therefore
, I argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
should
be considered
to
be saved
.

To support that agreement, several explanations have
been gained
.
First
and foremost, saving all the world's endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
a great amount of money. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are starving or suffering hazardous disease in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of world that need to support by expenditure. According to news from The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC), the study in 2012 envisaged that preserving threatened land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
$76 billion or around £49 billion a year, while it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
more if our targets are entire marine species.
Moreover
, it is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
is a natural process.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
existed in the earth, several mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinctions
had occurred. The viable example can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of dinosaurs. It
is estimated
that around 65 million years ago, the dinosaurs vanished without any intervention from human.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree about that statement. They argue that the most obvious reason is about ecological value. In human-social science, we learn that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
is social creature. As like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
, individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
by itself. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
, and vice versa. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
can disturb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
organisms that interact with it.
For instance
, based on the U. S. Fish and Wildlife Service, the disappearance of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
can tend to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
vanishment
of 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
creatures.

To sum up, it is evident that saving endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
a great amount of money. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
preserving all threatened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
, it
is proofed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
which can give beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life should
be saved
.
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IELTS essay There are many animal species close to endangered. Some say that only animals that are beneficial to people should be protected.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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