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People have different views about the network system develop. They reckon that internet are becoming a growing menace to our environment, while others claim that system are of great value in technology, education and etc. I believe that these two arguments are equally relevants.

People have different views about the network system develop. They reckon that internet are becoming a growing menace to our environment, while others claim that system are of great value in technology, education and etc. I believe that these two arguments are equally relevants. V1OA
People have different views about the network system develop. They reckon that internet are becoming a growing menace to our environment, while others claim that system are of great value in technology, education and etc. I believe that these two arguments are equally relevants. To begin, there are many adventages to using internet. First of all, network has revolutionized communication and other systems. As a result, the knowledge of relation and information in society increase. Second, in my opinion it gives us instant access to information on almost any subject. For instance, you want to buy something or other thing. On the other hand, I can understand the views about interest system importance due to the fact that that system have accelerated human development significantly. First, parents find it difficult to control what their children see online. As a result, many children’s behavior are changing on negative side. The second aspect that lot of website contain offensive content, as a consequence of criminals increasingly use the internet to steal people’s money. In my opinion, everyone should use the internet in a timely, correct and effective manner. To sum up, in spite of the fact that internet system show a negative aspect in today’s world, it has been proved to have several benefits.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about the network
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
develop. They reckon that internet are becoming a growing menace to our environment, while others claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
are of great value in technology, education
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. I believe that these two arguments are
equally
Possible spelling mistake found.
relevants
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
adventages
to using internet.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, network has revolutionized communication and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
.
As a result
, the knowledge of relation and information in society increase. Second, in my opinion it gives us instant access to information on almost any subject.
For instance
, you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
thing.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I can understand the views about interest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
importance due to the fact that that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
have accelerated human development
significantly
.
First
, parents find it difficult to control what their children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
online.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children’s behavior are changing on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side. The second aspect that lot of website contain offensive content, as a consequence of criminals
increasingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet to steal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s money.

In my opinion, everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet in a timely, correct and effective manner.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the fact that internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, it has
been proved
to have several benefits.
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IELTS essay People have different views about the network system develop. They reckon that internet are becoming a growing menace to our environment, while others claim that system are of great value in technology, education and etc. I believe that these two arguments are equally relevants.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
212 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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