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Having big salary is more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree

Having big salary is more important than job satisfaction. VBB8O
These days, occupation play a significant role in every person life. So, some people think that the salary is more crucial than job satisfaction, while others believe that occupation satisfaction is the the key of happiness. This essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusion. In one hand, there are a great deals of reasons why many people prefer to having a gigantic salary than be satisfied in their job. First of all, life requirments, by that i mean that we live in fast-paced world, and life start to be more expensive that any time befor especially in big city. People should pay many bills, for example rent, gaz, electricity, food and many others. To illustrate. A recent study by Qeen’s University found that the annual average cost living in big city like paris is about 50 k euros. As a result of these aspect it is apparent that tere are sveral benefits of having a big salary in every single month On the other hand, there are a several reason why many individual stonrgly believe that job satisfaction is more important. First and foremost, happiness. To be more precise Job satisfaction can boost your flexibilty, creativity, brain ability and also change your mindset and all that can bring to people a successful and happy life. To demanstrate. The New York Time reported in March 2018 that 90 per cent of all happy people a round the world have a sense of satisfaction for their job, life, and even their physical conditions. To sum up, of these factors it is clear that there are no doubt that occupation satisfaction is more crucial. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both points view. Personally. I believe that money is not as a same job satisfaction important
These days, occupation play a significant role in every person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the salary is more crucial than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
, while others believe that occupation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
key of happiness. This essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusion.

In one hand, there are a great deals of reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
Did you mean "have"?
having
a gigantic salary than
be satisfied
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Possible spelling mistake found.
requirments
, by that
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
mean that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced world, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to be more expensive that any time befor
especially
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
bills,
for example
rent,
Possible spelling mistake found.
gaz
, electricity, food and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others. To illustrate. A recent study by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Qeen
’s University found that the annual average cost living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city like
Possible spelling mistake found.
paris
is about 50 k euros.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result of
Did you mean "this aspect" or "these aspects"?
these aspect
it is apparent that
Possible spelling mistake found.
tere
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
sveral
benefits of having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
salary in every single
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
month


On the other hand
, there are a several reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individual
Possible spelling mistake found.
stonrgly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
First
and foremost, happiness. To be more precise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
can boost your
Possible spelling mistake found.
flexibilty
, creativity, brain ability and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
your mindset and all that can bring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a successful and happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
demanstrate
. The New York Time reported in March 2018 that 90 per cent of all happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a round the world have a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and even their physical conditions. To sum up, of these factors it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are no doubt that occupation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is more crucial.

In conclusion
, after a careful analysis of both points view.
Personally
. I believe that money is not as a same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
important
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IELTS essay Having big salary is more important than job satisfaction.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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