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essay on history or scientific subjects importance

essay on history or scientific subjects importance MMM8e
These days, school’s curriculum tries to encompass as many types of studies as possible. While some consider history as the most crucial school subject, others oppose this idea and believe scientific and technological studies to be the better choice for today’s generation. This essay will discuss why such contrasting views are held by people. Even though history comprises of studying the past, it helps children to understand the world better and learn from the mistakes of powerful countries and rulers. The civilizations which shaped us into who we are today is one of the central aspects of studying history, making the young minds aware of our rich history. Furthermore, the wars which transformed our world and are still affecting us in various ways help to analyse the problems and possible loop-holes in certain strategies adopted by the rulers and the governments. For example, the Hiroshima-Nagasika incident provides children with an opportunity to identify the threats and problems associated with nuclear weapons and how war benefits none. On the other hand, technology and science are the most rapidly developing industries today and provide more career opportunities than ever before. Google, one of the biggest companies in the world, provides a huge number of employments to people, this trend, however, is not very conspicuous in other fields such as history and arts. Moreover, a study carried out by some professors in the university of Minnesota has proved that studying science and subjects related to technology, like coding, can help in proper cognitive development of the young brains. This proves to be one of the major reasons why parents urge their children to take a deeper interest in technical studies. To conclude, the debate regarding the dominance of one subject over the other is a long one. However, in my opinion, both the subjects should be given equal importance and the decision to choose either one of them should be left on the kids’ personal interest and natural inclination.
These days, school’s curriculum tries to encompass as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of studies as possible. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
as the most crucial school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, others oppose this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and believe scientific and technological studies to be the better choice for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s generation. This essay will discuss why such contrasting views
are held
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of"?
comprises of
studying the past, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
children to understand the world better and learn from the mistakes of powerful countries and rulers. The civilizations which shaped us into who we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is one of the central aspects of studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, making the young minds aware of our rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
Furthermore
, the wars which transformed our world and are
still
affecting us in various ways
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the problems and possible loop-holes in certain strategies adopted by the rulers and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hiroshima-Nagasika
incident provides children with an opportunity to identify the threats and problems associated with nuclear weapons and how war benefits none.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, technology and science are the most
rapidly
developing industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and provide more career opportunities than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Google, one of the biggest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in the world, provides a huge number of employments to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, this trend,
however
, is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
conspicuous in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fields such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and arts.
Moreover
, a study carried out by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professors in the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
university of Minnesota
has proved that studying science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
related to technology, like coding, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in proper cognitive development of the young brains. This proves to be one of the major reasons why parents urge their children to take a deeper interest in technical studies.

To conclude
, the debate regarding the dominance of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
is a long one.
However
, in my opinion, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal importance and the decision to choose either one of them should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
on the kids’ personal interest and natural inclination.
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IELTS essay essay on history or scientific subjects importance

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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