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PRISON IS THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH CRIMES. OTHER PEOPLE SAY THERE ARE BETTER WAYS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION

PRISON IS THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH CRIMES. OTHER PEOPLE SAY THERE ARE BETTER WAYS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION JLL7B
Crime punishment has recently become an issue of social concern. A number of people claim that sending prisoners into the jails is the best way, others argue that there are many better methods for them. In my perspective, although prison is one of effective solutions in order to cut illegal acts, I believe that there are still better ways to curtail unlawful acts. On the one hand, the prison would be a helpful deterrent against some serious criminals for society. In other words, it also reduces illegal acts and is a wake-up call for potential criminals. Everyone will have awareness of stricter laws and the government does not hesitate in punishing other serious crimes. To cite an example, in Chicago, compared to the past 10 years, the number of family violent prisons reduced 5% when the court granted from 3 to 5 jail years for that crime. However, such is a short-sighted view that it may harm innocent people after the crimes finish their judgment. It is undeniable that while in prison, most of the offenses would keep hatred and everyone cannot envisage how devastating they are to people in society. Even if criminals spend 5 years in jail, they still commit more pernicious sins after that. Therefore, threatening offenses need to be kept in prison to ensure the security for citizens. More importantly, there is enormous evidence that provides various ways to decrease the number of unlawful acts. To teenage offenders, they should be educated to not only become helpful, but also settle into a long life. Additionally, most family violent criminals are men who are usually alcoholic or hot-tempered and it could lead to uncontrolling their family. Solving this issue is to provide psychology class to them and let them do some activities which need patience such as drawing, making crafts, sewing and reading. Admittedly, they should be trained to be stoic in order to control their behaviour. The most highlight example is that in Vietnam, 95% of teenage criminals have had a stable job when getting out of jails and the number of youngsters has significantly dropped recently. As a result, giving offenders chances is necessary to reduce illegal acts. To sum up, keeping menacing prisons in jails is required, but I am of the opinion that the government needs to apply more methods. I think of raising awareness of criminals by more psychological treatments or education, and they could understand the causes of crime to avoid them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
punishment has recently become an issue of social concern. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that sending prisoners into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
is the best way, others argue that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
better methods for them. In my perspective, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is one of effective solutions in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
illegal acts, I believe that there are
still
better ways to curtail unlawful acts.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
would be a helpful deterrent against
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
for society.
In other words
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
illegal acts and is a wake-up call for potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. Everyone will have awareness of stricter laws and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
does not hesitate in punishing other serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. To cite an example, in Chicago, compared to the past 10 years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of family violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
5% when the court granted from 3 to 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
years for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
However
, such is a short-sighted view that it may harm innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
finish their judgment. It is undeniable that while in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
, most of the offenses would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
hatred and everyone cannot envisage how devastating they are to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in society. Even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
spend 5 years in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
, they
still
commit more pernicious sins after that.
Therefore
, threatening offenses need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
to ensure the security for citizens.

More
importantly
, there is enormous evidence that provides various ways to decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of unlawful acts. To teenage offenders, they should
be educated
to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
become helpful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
settle into a long life.
Additionally
, most family violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who are
usually
alcoholic or hot-tempered and it could lead to
Possible spelling mistake found.
uncontrolling
their family. Solving this issue is to provide psychology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities which need patience such as drawing, making crafts, sewing and reading.
Admittedly
, they should
be trained
to be
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some adjectives that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Stoic".
stoic
in order to control their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. The most highlight example is that in Vietnam, 95% of teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
have had a stable job when getting out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of youngsters has
significantly
dropped recently.
As a result
, giving offenders chances is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
illegal acts.

To sum up, keeping menacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
is required
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am of the opinion that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to apply more methods. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of raising awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
by more psychological treatments or education, and they could understand the causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
to avoid them.
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IELTS essay PRISON IS THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH CRIMES. OTHER PEOPLE SAY THERE ARE BETTER WAYS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
411 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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