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The power and influence of sports should never be underestimated, this is perhaps the reason some people believe that indulging students in competitive games will be benificial for them by other mass of society have opposite perspective.

The power and influence of sports should never be underestimated, this is perhaps the reason some people believe that indulging students in competitive games will be benificial for them by other mass of society have opposite perspective. Ryyxk
The power and influence of sports should never be underestimated, this is perhaps the reason some people believe that indulging students in competitive games will be benificial for them by other mass of society have opposite perspective. However i totally concur with former notion and my view piont will be highlighted in forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, why children should participate in sports events along their studies? Firstly, it assist students to enhance their competitive spirit which will transcend their zeal to score even more then their classmates. Besides this being the player they will replace the feeling of jealousy and will learn from their own mistakes which definatly aid to mount the grades. Secondly, the most salient expect is concentration power which will become stronger by participating in sports because in while playing most of the games mental functioning get accelerated and than one's able to remember thing for longer time along with design taking power also inprove. Students can implement such skills to learn their toughest theories for longer spend of life. On contrary, although participanting in sports led children to be active but some times their attentions get diverted from studies which is an essential part of student life which plummet their performance in class. Injuries are other expect of players life as in play ground they usually get injured which is normal but can create challenges in their academic part. To encapsulate, even though the disadvantages of participating in competitive games such as getting injuries and distraction are legitimate but the power and influence of sports should never be underestimated as it assist students to enhance their concentration along with compitative spirt which aid them to trascend thier scores.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
and influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should never
be underestimated
, this is perhaps the reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that indulging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in competitive games will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benificial
for them by other mass of society have opposite perspective.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
totally
concur with former notion and my view
Possible spelling mistake found.
piont
will
be highlighted
in forthcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, why children should participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
along their studies?
Firstly
, it
Did you mean "assists"?
assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to enhance their competitive spirit which will transcend their zeal to score even more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
their classmates.
Besides
this being the player they will replace the feeling of jealousy and will learn from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mistakes which
Possible spelling mistake found.
definatly
aid to mount the grades.
Secondly
, the most salient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
is concentration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
which will become stronger by participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in while playing most of the games mental functioning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
accelerated and
Did you mean "then"?
than
one's able to remember thing for longer time along with design taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
inprove
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can implement such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to learn their toughest theories for longer spend of life.

On contrary, although
Possible spelling mistake found.
participanting
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
led children to be active
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times their attentions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
diverted from studies which is an essential part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
life which plummet their performance in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. Injuries are other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
of players life as in play ground they
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
injured which is normal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can create challenges in their academic part.

To encapsulate,
even though
the disadvantages of participating in competitive games such as getting injuries and distraction are legitimate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
and influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should never
be underestimated
as it assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to enhance their concentration along with
Possible spelling mistake found.
compitative
Possible spelling mistake found.
spirt
which aid them to
Possible spelling mistake found.
trascend
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
scores.
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IELTS essay The power and influence of sports should never be underestimated, this is perhaps the reason some people believe that indulging students in competitive games will be benificial for them by other mass of society have opposite perspective.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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