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positive and negative influences of Western lifestyles on Vietnamese teenagers. Which overweighs?

positive and negative influences of Western lifestyles on Vietnamese teenagers. Which overweighs? LGLap
There has, in recent years, been an outpouring of information about the impact of Western lifestyles on Vietnamese youths. While the promising benefits that teenagers received when being exposed to a new way of life are mentioned, there exist negative aspects of this issue that need to be addressed. In my perspective, I am more convinced by the claim that Western lifestyles plus points overweigh the minus ones with the following reasons. On the one hand, it is reasonable to doubt the harmful effects of Western lifestyles to young Vietnamese. As Western exposure expands, there are ever-increasingly unfavorable trends spreading within multi age groups. These newly introduced trends rapidly gained their attention due to youngster’s curiousity and tastes, set them on a nerve-racking challenge of grand, glamorous seductions such as open using of drugs, over self-indulgence, etc. These detrimental ways of life, in turn, deterioriates their cognitive, motives and basic functions as a young adult of a healthy community. However, having those aforementioned possibilities acknowledged, we can clearly witness a whole novel society with new sense of self-awareness when Westernized lifestyle is introduced, where the youths being the risk-taker, holding an open-than-ever outlook on life and daring to break any limit that backwards prejudices passed on. An intertwined flow of new practices and cultures have also contributed to support Vietnamese youths stepping out to international competitions, achieving brand new records in various fields such as science, arts, technology, etc. In addition, Vietnamese teenagers, living inbetween multicultural lifestyles, are given the chance to bring up more products comprised of both traditional values and modern renovations with a wider range of efficicieny. Overall, albeit the western lifestyles drawbacks, its beneficial influences definitely outweigh the opposite sides. The question here is not how to discard this issue but to take all perspectives and combine harmoniously between different ways of life – a must for our youths as future global citizens.
There has, in recent years, been an outpouring of information about the impact of Western
lifestyles
on Vietnamese youths. While the promising benefits that
teenagers
received when
being exposed
to a
new
way of
life
are mentioned
, there exist
negative
aspects of this issue that need to
be addressed
. In my perspective, I am more convinced by the claim that Western
lifestyles
plus points
overweigh
the minus ones with the following reasons.

On the one hand, it is reasonable to doubt the harmful effects of Western
lifestyles
to young Vietnamese. As Western exposure expands, there are ever-
increasingly
unfavorable trends spreading within multi age groups. These
newly
introduced trends
rapidly
gained their attention due to youngster’s
curiousity
and tastes, set them on a nerve-racking challenge of grand, glamorous seductions such as open using of drugs, over self-indulgence, etc. These detrimental ways of
life
, in turn,
deterioriates
their cognitive, motives and basic functions as a young adult of a healthy community.

However
, having those aforementioned possibilities acknowledged, we can
clearly
witness a whole novel society with
new
sense of self-awareness when Westernized
lifestyle
is introduced
, where the youths being the
risk
-taker, holding an open-than-ever outlook on
life
and daring to break any limit that backwards prejudices passed on. An intertwined flow of
new
practices and cultures have
also
contributed to support Vietnamese youths stepping out to international competitions, achieving brand
new
records in various fields such as science, arts, technology, etc.
In addition
, Vietnamese
teenagers
, living
inbetween
multicultural
lifestyles
, are
given
the chance to bring up more products comprised of both traditional values and modern renovations with a wider range of
efficicieny
.

Overall
, albeit the western
lifestyles
drawbacks, its beneficial influences definitely outweigh the opposite sides. The question here is not how to discard this issue
but
to take all perspectives and combine
harmoniously
between
different
ways of
life
a
must
for our youths as future global citizens.
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IELTS essay positive and negative influences of Western lifestyles on Vietnamese teenagers. Which overweighs?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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