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Position of women in the society is downgrading. Do you agree or disagree.

Position of women in the society is downgrading. jRDow
The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years as many married women now work. Discuss the benefits of it. The twenty first century has brought numerous advancements for people and women empowernment is one of them; this is the time when majority of people all around the world have left their conservative thinking of concealing women within home, although, two decades ago it seems to be unlikely. As a result, innumerous married women have been started working and their importance in the community have been increased. There are many benefits which accompany this significant change in the mentality. Now women are not just a part of male dominated working vicinity but also running it. It has escalated their confidence drastically, additionally, it encourge a shared feeling of equality between both genders which will lead our society toward success, one of such example is a test had been conducted by divinding people into three teams: males, females, both genders and given some task to perform, the team which have both genders person in it had scored the highest score in it. Furthermore, raising a family alone has been become extremly difficult nowadays, thus, having a working partner would assist in economic support of the family, moreover, it will accelerate women partner image as she is not any more finacially dependent on her husband. It has been seen that if both husband and wife is working then man abet his wife in household work which strenghth there relationship with each other and the couple, hence, the frequency of fight between then is very low. Working parents pose deep impacts on their children minds and it has been generally seen these kind of children are more confident and independent than others which help them in acquiring new skills and perform well in studies. Moreover, children feel it is their own responsibility to not to get indulged into any kind of bad activity because it would be the worst use of the leverage which is given by their parents to them. Low apt towards child delinquency can be seen among children who have working parents.
The position of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in society has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
markedly
in the last twenty years as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
work. Discuss the benefits of it.

The twenty
first
century has brought numerous advancements for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
Possible spelling mistake found.
empowernment
is one of them; this is the time when majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all around the world have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their conservative thinking of concealing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
within home, although, two decades ago it seems to be unlikely.
As a result
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
innumerous
married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and their importance in the community have
been increased
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits which accompany this significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the mentality.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a part of male dominated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
vicinity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
running it. It has escalated their confidence
drastically
,
additionally
, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
encourge
a shared feeling of equality between both genders which will lead our society toward success, one of such example is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
had
been conducted
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
divinding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
into three teams: males, females, both genders and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
task to perform, the team which have both
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "genders'" or "gender's"?
genders
person in it had scored the highest score in it.
Furthermore
, raising a family alone has
been become
Possible spelling mistake found.
extremly
difficult nowadays,
thus
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
partner would assist in economic support of the family,
moreover
, it will accelerate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
partner image as she is not
Did you mean the adverb "anymore"?
any more
Possible spelling mistake found.
finacially
dependent on her husband.

It has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that if both husband and wife is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
abet his wife in household work which
Possible spelling mistake found.
strenghth
there relationship with each other and the couple,
hence
, the frequency of fight between then is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
parents pose deep impacts on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
minds and it has been
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more confident and independent than others which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in acquiring new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and perform well in studies.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel it is their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
responsibility
One 'to' seems to be obsolete.
to not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
indulged into any kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
activity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would be the worst
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the leverage which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by their parents to them. Low apt towards child delinquency can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
parents.
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IELTS essay Position of women in the society is downgrading.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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