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ln mony countries women men. Some peopre soy thal o noYY or oh force. Do you ogre ore obre to join the ormed forces jusl os nly men should be members of lhe ormy, e or disogree?

ln mony countries women men. Some peopre soy thal o noYY or oh force. Do you ogre ore obre to join the ormed forces jusl os nly men should be members of lhe ormy, e or disogree? kYL5e
The army sector has seen an increasing number of women enrollments in the past two or three decades. women have showed their mettle in this field. Some individuals are skeptical about women being fit for such jobs. They believe that only men should pursue such careers. However, I tend to disagree and would put my arguments to support my views in the upcoming paragraphs. My first argument is that nowadays we are heading towards an egalitarian society, in which all should have equal rights' Therefore, women should have the same right as men to choose their profession. people should be chosen for jobs based on thelr skills, qualification and character. So if a woman has enough ability to join the forces, she should be welcome to become a soldier in the army, or join other defense services. Gender should not come in the way of the selection process. There is a group of people who claim that women lack physical strength, and therefore they are not fit to be in the army, naw or the air force, as these jobs require physical strength. I would however, argue that it would be wrong to say that women are less able than men in certain jobs. ln fact, women may be better at controlling a situation by communicating more effectively. Many areas in the defense require more than just physical strength. Teamwork, leadership and communication may be just as important. Finally, it could be argued that even physical strength can be increased by effective workouts and muscle traininS' Women who join such jobs do undergo rigorous training and are no less than men when they are on the job. Choosing a career is also a matter of personal choice. More and more men are now entering fields such as nursing and teaching, which were earlier thought to be a woman's domain. So, it should come as no surprise if women choose to enter the defense jobs. Summing up, women should have the same role as men in the armed forces. lt is the need of the times.
The army sector has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
enrollments in the past two or three decades.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
women
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
their mettle in this field.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals are skeptical about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
being fit
for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. They believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
should pursue such careers.

However
, I tend to disagree and would

put my arguments to support my views in the upcoming paragraphs.

My
first
argument is that nowadays we are heading towards an egalitarian society, in which all should have

equal rights'
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should have the same right as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
to choose their profession.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
should
be chosen
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
based on
Possible spelling mistake found.
thelr
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, qualification and character.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if a woman has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the forces, she should be welcome to become a soldier in the army, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
other defense services. Gender should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in the way of the selection process.

There is a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
lack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
, and
therefore
they are not fit to be in the army,
Possible spelling mistake found.
naw
or the air force, as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
. I would
however
, argue that it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are less able than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ln
fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
may be better at controlling a situation by communicating more
effectively
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
areas in the defense require more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
. Teamwork, leadership and communication may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Finally
, it could
be argued
that even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
can
be increased
by effective workouts and muscle
Possible spelling mistake found.
traininS
'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
do undergo rigorous training and are no less than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
when they are on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Choosing a career is
also
a matter of personal choice. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
entering fields such as nursing and teaching, which were earlier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be a woman's domain.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
as no surprise if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
choose to enter the defense jobs.

Summing up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should have the same role as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in the armed forces.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lt
is the need of the times.
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IELTS essay ln mony countries women men. Some peopre soy thal o noYY or oh force. Do you ogre ore obre to join the ormed forces jusl os nly men should be members of lhe ormy, e or disogree?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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