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Population of adults has IS INCREASING IN SOME COUNTRIES DOES IT HAS ADVANTAGES OR DISADVANTAGES

Population of adults has IS INCREASING IN SOME COUNTRIES DOES IT HAS ADVANTAGES OR DISADVANTAGES 0AENq
Population of the country decides its economy and development. There is a debate that either population of young adults is more benifical or not. There is no doubt that youth has potential to drive economy but we can not ignore experience of older generation. In my essay I will explain both aspects and than conclude the main idea Young people decides future of any country. They are more ambitious and hardworking. They have hight vision and their determination can achieve any thing in world. young blood is basically workforce for any country. Japan a veery developed country they heir young employees because they have more people with old age. Educated and skilled young generation is precious acet of any country. They are more curious and they work really hard in field of science and technology. However if we have more population of young people we need more jobs and we have to creat more oppournities in order to focus thCeir mind in positive direction. However we cannot ignore importance of old generation. Imagine a hospital without experienced surgeons or a university without experienced professor. Vitenam is a country with majority population of young generation but when they were constructed a subway they heired experienced engineers and technicians from japan and Thailand. We can only work properly under those who spend their lives in learning things. Infact older generation is main engine of a train who drive whole generation in right direction. However the more old generation you have more you need to provide medical care and shelter facilities In end I conclude my essay on point that if there is combination of both young generation energy and old experienced mind we can achieve any thing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Population
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
decides its economy and development. There is a debate that either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifical
or not. There is no doubt that youth has potential to drive economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
experience of older generation. In my essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both aspects and
Did you mean "then"?
than
conclude the main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea


Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
decides
future of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. They are more ambitious and hardworking. They have
Possible spelling mistake found.
hight
vision and their determination can achieve
Did you mean "anything"?
any thing
in world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
young
blood is
basically
workforce for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Japan a
Possible spelling mistake found.
veery
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they heir
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age. Educated and skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation is precious
Possible spelling mistake found.
acet
of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. They are more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
curious and
they work
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in field of science and technology.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
if we have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
we need more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
jobs and
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppournities
in order to focus
Possible spelling mistake found.
thCeir
mind in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
direction.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
generation. Imagine a hospital without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
surgeons or a university without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
professor.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vitenam
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when they
were constructed
a subway they
Possible spelling mistake found.
heired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
engineers and technicians from japan and Thailand. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
work
properly
under those who spend their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in learning things.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Infact
older generation is main engine of a train who drive whole generation in right direction.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
generation you have more you need to provide medical care and shelter
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
facilities


In
The comma is probably missing here: "end, I".
end I
conclude my essay on point that if there is combination of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation energy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
mind we can achieve
Did you mean "anything"?
any thing
.
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IELTS essay Population of adults has IS INCREASING IN SOME COUNTRIES DOES IT HAS ADVANTAGES OR DISADVANTAGES

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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