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Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. v.26

Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. v. 26
No doubt, different types of international world cup games like the football, cricket, hockey, volleyball etc. are becoming very popular in many countries due to the fact that they think to win these international games are a prestigious matter. However, it is considered that these international occasions can reduce international pressure and it can be relieved the emotional patriotism in a safe way. While I accept this policy sometimes will not work properly, I believe it is one of the greatest ways to increase the good relationship with several countries. One the one hand, there are some good reasons why the international game cannot minimise the universal problems of the different countries. Firstly, although the international games are very pleasant among several countries, only a few countries can participate in these games. Finally, conflicts are happening with various countries when discrete cultured people watch the play in the same field. Therefore, it is fairly easy to comprehend that sometimes controversy has arisen. On the other hand, these international games open new avenues in the world that bestow an enormous amount of boons for different enemy countries in many ways. One important point is when international play has occurred, the president of many countries goes to the spot for watching the games. This could result in an opportunity to discuss any issue between the foe countries. For instance, although Pakistan and India have several types of problem, in the World Cup Cricket they forget their internal trouble and they have only one target to win the world cup. Another benefit is whenever the international sporting games are commenced, the whole people of the world look at the games; as a result, the crimes are reduced dramatically in many countries. Thus, from these explanations, it is clear that universal sporting games reduce pressure, and relieve the patriotism in a safe way. In conclusion, it is clear that both sides of view have some logical points after the debate is explored. However, in my opinion, the tremendous advantages of international gaming occasions fortify my argument that it is auspicious for different countries.
No doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
cup
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like the football, cricket, hockey, volleyball etc. are becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
due to the fact that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to win these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are a prestigious matter.

However
, it
is considered
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
occasions can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
pressure and it can
be relieved
the emotional patriotism
Consider replacing "in a safe way" with the adverb for "safe"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a safe way
. While I accept this policy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
will not work
properly
, I believe it is one of the greatest ways to increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with several countries.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reasons why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
game cannot
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the universal problems of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Firstly
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
pleasant among several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can participate in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Finally
, conflicts are happening with various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
when discrete cultured
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the play in the same field.
Therefore
, it is
fairly
easy to comprehend that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
controversy has arisen.

On the other hand
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
open new avenues in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
that bestow an enormous amount of boons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
enemy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point is when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
play has occurred, the president of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
goes to the spot for watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This could result in an opportunity to discuss any issue between the foe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
, although Pakistan and India have several types of problem, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Cup Cricket they forget their internal
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
trouble and
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one target to win the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
cup.

Another benefit is whenever the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are commenced
, the whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
look at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
;
as a result
, the crimes are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
dramatically
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Thus
, from these explanations, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that universal sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
pressure, and relieve the patriotism
Consider replacing "in a safe way" with the adverb for "safe"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a safe way
.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that both sides of view have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
logical points after the debate
is explored
.
However
, in my opinion, the tremendous advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
gaming occasions fortify my argument that it is auspicious for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. v. 26

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
349 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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