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Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.19

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. with this opinion? v. 19
In the past few decades, we can see that international sporting events like the Olympics and other sports events encourage world peace and ease tensions in a safe way. Others argue that these events can lead to rivalry and emotional temperament that can lead to violence between countries. In my view, I partially agree that global events encourage sportsmanship, but do not encourage global unity. Firstly, it is true that world cup events are used as a tool to show cast patriotic feelings in safe and secure ways; however, no matter the disputes between the countries, the athletes try to outperform each other in a friendly environment to spread the true spirit of the game. In addition, gatherings like the football matches is a platform for different people to interact and share experiences and love against each other. For instance, many experts seemed that contests are the best platform to show supremacy in violent free outcomes. Needless to say, global events encourage to ease international tension. Secondly, although the tournaments positively affect world peace, sometimes the athletes get carried away and end up hurting each other on or off the field. Moreover, pressure situation may make the spectators fight for their team and can lead to law and order problem. For example, cricket world cup matches between rivalry countries like India and Pakistan matches most of the times led to violence in the audience. Hence, international events have their pitfalls and they cannot encourage global peace at all times. In conclusion, we can clearly understand despite the drawbacks sports events are the only best occasion to release international tensions in a friendly atmosphere and encourage friendship at all time.
In the past few decades, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like the Olympics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
peace and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
tensions
Consider replacing "in a safe way" with the adverb for "safe"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a safe way
. Others argue that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
can lead to rivalry and emotional temperament that can lead to violence between countries. In my view, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
sportsmanship,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
unity.

Firstly
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
cup
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a tool to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
cast patriotic feelings in safe and secure ways;
however
, no matter the disputes between the countries, the athletes try to outperform each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in a friendly environment to spread the true spirit of the game.
In addition
, gatherings like the football matches is a platform for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to interact and share experiences and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
against each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experts seemed that contests are the best platform to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
supremacy in violent free outcomes. Needless to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tension.

Secondly
, although the tournaments
positively
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
peace,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the athletes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
carried away and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up hurting each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
on or off the field.
Moreover
, pressure situation may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the spectators fight for their team and can lead to law and order problem.
For example
, cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
cup matches between rivalry countries like India and Pakistan matches
Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
most of the times
led to violence in the audience.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
have their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pitfalls and
they cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
peace at all times.

In conclusion
, we can
clearly
understand despite the drawbacks sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
best occasion to release
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tensions in a friendly atmosphere and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
friendship at all time.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. with this opinion? v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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