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Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.16

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. with this opinion? v. 16
Some people regard that many worldwide events such as the Olympic Game or the football World Cup are the best idea to calm down every stress of country's relationship and safely promote the national pride. In my opinion, I think this is true because when people involve in these physical activities, they also create the environment for competition and bring everyone closer and even emerge the national pride from each person. These may be the main reasons for the above opinion. To begin with the first reason, competitive environment is always made by every game, especially sporting occasions because most of kinds of sport require their competitors have to compete with the others. In the past, many ancient kingdoms used to apply this instead of activating battles in order to reduce the number of deaths. Olympic Game, for instance, which was born many years ago in Greece, now is the term for every athletes define themselves. Every competitor represents in the country participating in any type of sport listed in this and gaining the medal for their country. I think this is definitely a good way to improve themselves and the relationship between nations as well. Furthermore, the other reason is this brings everyone and every nation together. The other ingredient in this kind of occasion is the audience. They are similar to the athletes because they perhaps come from many different places, but when then join in the event, they select a side which is mostly their home team, representing their nation as well. For example, the football World Cup is the great occasion for everyone to show how proud they are of their team and their country. When they watch sports and encourage their side with the honest spirit, this gradually emerges the national pride in them. Thus, many patriotic emotions will be released safely. In addition, football is well-known as the king of sports due to 2 reasons, one is this motivate nations take part in the event and the other one is this promote member nations. When a national team becomes a champion, gaining a kind of honour cup, their nation also benefit by increasing revenue in tourism, economy and so on. That is why many people rushing up to these kind of activity rather than creating the wars. In conclusion, I believe that international events such as the World Cup, the Euro Cup or the Olymic Game is perfect to ease the tension of international relationship of each country and promote their nations. They usually state that we will be stronger if we stay together. Hence, let us use this great tool, the sport, so as to connect the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
regard that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
such as the Olympic Game or the football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cup
are the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to calm down every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of country's relationship and
safely
promote the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
pride. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
involve in these physical activities, they
also
create the environment for competition and bring everyone closer and even emerge the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
pride from each person. These may be the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for the above opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, competitive environment is always made by every game,
especially
sporting occasions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
require their competitors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compete with the others. In the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ancient kingdoms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to apply this
instead
of activating battles in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of deaths. Olympic Game,
for instance
, which
was born
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years ago in Greece,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is the term for every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "athlete"?
athletes
define themselves. Every competitor represents in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
participating in any type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
listed in this and gaining the medal for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is definitely a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves and the relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
as well
.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is this brings everyone and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
together. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ingredient in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of occasion is the audience. They are similar to the athletes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they perhaps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
, they select a side which is
mostly
their home team, representing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
as well
.
For example
, the football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cup
is the great occasion for everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how proud they are of their team and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and encourage their side with the honest spirit, this
gradually
emerges the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
pride in them.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
patriotic emotions will
be released
safely
.

In addition
, football is well-known as the king of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
due to 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, one is
The verb 'motivate' is plural. Did you mean: "this motivates"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
one is
The verb 'promote' is plural. Did you mean: "this promotes"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this promote
member
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
team becomes a champion, gaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cup
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
also
benefit by increasing revenue in tourism, economy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
That is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rushing up to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of activity
rather
than creating the wars.

In conclusion
, I believe that international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cup
, the Euro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cup
or the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Olymic
Game is perfect to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the tension of international relationship of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. They
usually
state that we will be stronger if we stay together.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this great tool, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
connect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. with this opinion? v. 16

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
445 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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