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Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?

Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree? Weba
Nowadays, we can see a wide range of health issues because of unhealthy eating habits, for example obesity or eating disorders. This problems are long-term because of high-level of sugar, salt and fat in fast food. On the one hand, increasing of fax on such type of food would partly change the situation with the problems of rich countries. Many people choose this hearty food because it is cheap, moreover, it is cooked fast. This meal is delicious only through the high level of fats and salt, that influence on heart and blood system. But with the high price of fast food people would probably choose more healthy type of meal sacrificing time. On the other hand, it would be better to reduct the price of fruits and vegetables. The government can create new laws especially to encourage healthy eaters. Of course it might cause a lot if problems in farming and government economics, but dealing with them will lead to healthy lifestyle of all nation. Moreover, it is important to show people real consequences of bad habits since their childhood. Not only information about obesity and heard decease will help people have healthy lifestyle. It is needed to be thought in schools how to cook food that won’t harm one’s health. The only problem is that in modern world even teenagers are busy and there aren’t enough time for cooking healthy food for what people need to study how to make it well that will also take some time. In conclusion, it seems that adding fax on fast food is a good idea bit it is only the first step on the way of society of being heathy. People also need to know how to cook healthy meal that should be cheaper that nowadays one.
Nowadays, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a wide range of health issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of unhealthy eating habits,
for example
obesity or eating disorders.
Did you mean "these"?
This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are long-term
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of high-level of sugar, salt and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
food.

On the one hand, increasing of fax on such type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
would partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the situation with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of rich countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose this hearty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
,
moreover
, it
is cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
. This meal is delicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
through the high level of fats and salt, that influence on heart and blood system.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with the high price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
probably
choose more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
type of meal sacrificing time.

On the other hand
, it would be better to
Possible spelling mistake found.
reduct
the price of fruits and vegetables. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can create new laws
especially
to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
eaters. Of
The comma is probably missing here: "course, it".
course it
might cause a lot if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in farming and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
economics,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
dealing with them will lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle of all nation.

Moreover
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
real consequences of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits since their childhood. Not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
information about obesity and heard decease will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle. It
is needed
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
in schools how to cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that won’t harm one’s health. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that in modern world even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are busy and there aren’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to study how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it well that will
also
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time.

In conclusion
, it seems that adding fax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
bit it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
the
first
step on the way of society of being
Possible spelling mistake found.
heathy
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
also
need to know how to cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
meal that should be cheaper that nowadays one.

IELTS essay Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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