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Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society? GMrwL
The life on earth is attached to water, as we know that approximately 70% of this planet is water but now the world is faced with a big problem which is created by humans in a way it makes the difficulty for humans and even the ecosystem of animals. In this essay, I figure out the motives of this phenomenon. Nowadays, with progress of humans’ world, environment is becoming more and more close to ruin and the water, now is in the damage, due to, swages which are main sources of water pollution that can be classified into 3 parts include, Industrial wastewater that enters the water directly from factories, which contain large amounts of chemicals and toxins, also, municipal wastewater generated through domestic use, such as washing clothes or dishes, can stay on the second category and the third is sewage that enters rivers from fertilizers and effluents, which are called agricultural sewage that all of them are very dangerous. Despite of nature which is give us life, we gift the pollution to it. The dangers from wastewater are risky for ecosystem because of chemical, fertilizers and other toxic substances which are enter to rivers and then into ocean, so, it can be poisonous for the animals in sea, also, if the individuals consume them especially the fishermen both of them would hurt like an accident in Japan where fishermen were poisoned by contaminated fish, moreover, water contamination can cause diseases such as malaria that can be easily transfer to humans through animals. In conclusion, humans commit a big crime to self and animals on earth which the outcome of it causes problems such as water pollution.
The life on earth
is attached
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, as we know that approximately 70% of this planet is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the world
is faced
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem which
is created
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in a way it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the difficulty for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and even the ecosystem of animals. In this essay, I figure out the motives of this phenomenon.

Nowadays, with progress of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans’
world, environment is becoming more and more close to ruin and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is in the damage, due to,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "swags", the plural form of the noun 'swag'?
swages
which are main sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution that can
be classified
into 3 parts include, Industrial wastewater that enters the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
directly
from factories, which contain large amounts of chemicals and toxins,
also
, municipal wastewater generated through domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, such as washing clothes or dishes, can stay on the second category and the third is sewage that enters rivers from fertilizers and effluents, which
are called
agricultural sewage that all of them are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.

Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
nature which is give us life, we gift the pollution to it. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
from wastewater are risky for ecosystem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of chemical, fertilizers and other toxic substances which are
Consider using a past participle here: "entered".
enter
to rivers and then into ocean,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it can be poisonous for the animals in sea,
also
, if the individuals consume them
especially
the fishermen both of them would hurt like an accident in Japan where fishermen
were poisoned
by contaminated fish,
moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
contamination can cause diseases such as malaria that can be
easily
Consider using a past participle here: "transferred".
transfer
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
through animals.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
commit a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
crime to self and animals on earth which the outcome of it causes problems such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution.
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IELTS essay Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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