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please write statment purpuse

please write statment purpuse MByqN
Having developed a keen eye for the emerging technologies around me, I have always been passionate about exploring the science of computers and information systems ever since I was a young kid. I can still recollect the memories of the cozy afternoons; I spent playing myriads of computer games with the dedication of a staunch devotee. I believe those cozy moments do have a persuasive role to play in implanting a deep-seated love for crucial components of computer science, namely coding and programming language. Since childhood, I had fallen so much in love with computers that I felt I could spend hours in front of it without feeling fatigued or disgusted. Being a student in this discipline has been a total fun experience which helped me to look at the very spectrum of my life with a value-added perspective. My academic experience thus far has provided me with a wide range of practical knowledge and skills that will be immensely useful when studying overseas at the graduate level. As a high school student, I excelled in a computer course and achieved an excellent score. I took additionally computer Hardware and Networking Couse during my teen years when I was still in school as I dreamed to become a programmer to design new development protocols and contribute to this field. High school faculties who saw my interest in this subject and encouraged me to continue broadening my scientific understanding and developing my analytical skills. It was due in large part to their guidance and advice that I chose Bachelors in Computer Applications at Sardar Patel University. As an undergraduate, I found that I deeply enjoyed learning about the foundation level of programming, systems analysis, and design, basics of computer graphics, Database management systems, Data and file structures. These practical skills were very useful for projects, seminars, researches, and assignments. I developed automated Back-office software in VB. NET for automobile showrooms to which can keep track of booking, payment, and stocks of vehicles. The undergraduate curriculum inspired me to pursue a Master's in computer applications to add an extra force to my understanding of the field I even went for crucial programming courses like Java, Android, PHP. We also learn foundation courses for Data warehousing and Data mining. I learned roles and functions of operations systems, system software, Computer Networks scripting languages, management information system, and ADBMS, A major part of my learning came from the project in PHP -Inventory Management System which helps owners to manage stocks, and sales records. In the final years as part of an internship, I got the chance to implement skilled that I achieved during my academic career. I applied the knowledge of C#. NET and Android to develop a project called Sales support system with Softcom Technologies as part of internship which was useful to maintain the daily information on sales and stocks. Further, I joined ATOS as a Trainee IT Engineer in 2016. where I gained extensive experience in Understanding IT Applications operations from the back-end side and maintaining applications systems efficiently. My knowledgeable experience with ATOS equipped me with the opportunity to enhance my technical skills, Business skills, and abilities to dexterously manage different tasks, responsibilities, and people I worked on a varied range of projects and provided the best meaningful outcome to the valuable customers for which I was adorned with accolades and awards for these creative feats, I also devoted myself to increase my knowledge of programming and more real-time technical skills like Cloud Computing, Networking and Cyber Security, Data Science and Artificial Intelligence which rapidly became an essential aspect of every technology around us. I chose to study a Masters in Computer Science for my further graduate studies to explore it in more depth. As I embark on this stage where I yearn to enhance my competency and explore my potential, I feel pursuing an MS in Computer Science program will hugely impact my portfolio of knowledge and expertise. My objective, in the long run, is to put my passion for immerging technologies and becoming a competent professional in the IT industry while also devoting my creativity and technical dexterity to developing revolutionary intelligent technologies by working in the research arena as well. I aspire to set up my own company in India in the long run and make great strides in the field of Information Technology. I bring with me a strong understanding of the different aspects of Computer Science and a work experience of 5 years with ATOS as a Software consultant -Systems. Pursuing an MS in Computer Science from this University will likely add wings to my overall career aspirations and big moves, which I have painstakingly sketched for the last few years. I am sure that my passion, knowledge, and capabilities will grow leaps and bounds as a student at your university and will take me closer to my goal of establishing my promising professional prowess in the technological sphere I am expecting a positive response from the admission committee towards my application for MS in computer science program.
Having developed a keen eye for the emerging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
around me, I have always been passionate about exploring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
of computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
ever since I was a young kid. I can
still
recollect the memories of the cozy afternoons; I spent playing myriads of computer games with the dedication of a staunch devotee. I believe those cozy moments do have a persuasive role to play in implanting a deep-seated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for crucial components of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
,
namely
coding and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
language. Since childhood, I had fallen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with computers that I felt I could spend hours in front of it without feeling fatigued or disgusted. Being a student in this discipline has been a total fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to look at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
spectrum of my life with a value-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
perspective.

My academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
thus
far has provided me with a wide range of practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that will be
immensely
useful when studying overseas at the graduate level. As a high school student, I excelled in a computer course and achieved an excellent score. I took
additionally
computer Hardware and Networking
Possible spelling mistake found.
Couse
during my teen years when I was
still
in school as I dreamed to become a programmer to design new development protocols and contribute to this field.

High school faculties who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
my interest in this subject and encouraged me to continue broadening my scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
and developing my analytical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. It was due in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
to their guidance and advice that I chose Bachelors in Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Applications
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sardar
Patel University. As an undergraduate, I found that I
deeply
enjoyed learning about the foundation level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
analysis, and design, basics of computer graphics, Database management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
and file structures. These practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
, seminars, researches, and assignments. I developed automated Back-office software in VB. NET for automobile showrooms to which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of booking, payment, and stocks of vehicles.

The undergraduate curriculum inspired me to pursue a Master's in computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
an extra force to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
of the field I even went for crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
courses like Java, Android, PHP. We
also
learn foundation courses for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
warehousing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
mining. I learned roles and functions of operations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
software, Computer Networks scripting languages, management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ADBMS
, A major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of my learning came from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
in PHP -Inventory Management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
System
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
owners to manage stocks, and sales records. In the final years as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of an internship, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the chance to implement skilled that I achieved during my academic career. I applied the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of C#. NET and Android to develop a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
called Sales support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
Softcom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technologies
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of internship which was useful to maintain the daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on sales and stocks.

Further
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
ATOS as a Trainee IT Engineer in 2016.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
where
I gained extensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Understanding
IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Applications
operations from the back-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
side and maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
efficiently
. My knowledgeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
with ATOS equipped me with the opportunity to enhance my technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, Business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, and abilities to
dexterously
manage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tasks, responsibilities, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
I worked on a varied range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
and provided the best meaningful outcome to the valuable customers for which I
was adorned
with accolades and awards for these creative feats, I
also
devoted myself to increase my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
and more real-time technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like Cloud Computing, Networking and Cyber Security,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and Artificial Intelligence which
rapidly
became an essential aspect of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
around us. I chose to study a Masters in Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
for my
further
graduate studies to explore it in more depth.

As I embark on this stage where I yearn to enhance my competency and explore my potential, I feel pursuing an MS in Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
program will
hugely
impact my portfolio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and expertise. My objective, in the long run, is to put my passion for
Possible spelling mistake found.
immerging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and becoming a competent professional in the IT industry while
also
devoting my creativity and technical dexterity to developing revolutionary intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
by working in the research arena
as well
. I aspire to set up my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in India in the long run and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
great strides in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
Technology.

I bring with me a strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and a work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of 5 years with ATOS as a Software consultant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
-Systems
. Pursuing an MS in Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
from this University will likely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
wings to my
overall
career aspirations and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
, which I have
painstakingly
sketched for the last few years. I am sure that my passion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, and capabilities will grow leaps and bounds as a student at your university and will take me closer to my goal of establishing my promising professional prowess in the technological sphere

I am expecting a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response from the admission committee towards my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
application
for MS in computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
program.

IELTS essay please write statment purpuse

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
843 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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