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video games is very harmful to the individuals. To what do extent do you agree or disagree?

video games is very harmful to the individuals. To what do extent YydkQ
A lot of people argue that video games have a negative effect on the individuals who play them. From my perspective, I agree with some individuals who think that video games are a useful study tool and harmless. Firstly, people can study through playing video games. To begin with, many modern games are designed with English instructions. This is vitally important for both working people and students because they not only feel relaxed but also improve their English skills. For example, players around the world can connect and play together. Besides, a lot of brain stimulating games promote creativity, problem solving, and analytical thinking such as trivia games, IQ challenges. For instance, Brain Out is a famous video game because it has the perfect combination of IQ, reflexes and activity. Secondly, people can improve their health through video games. First of all, playing video games can treat some diseases in children such as autism because games have an impact on emotional nerves. Second of all, many researchers from Washington university concluded that playing video games can reduce physical and mental pain. For example, certain video games can improve communication skills in some children with the disease. In addition, children can practice eye reflexes. In conclusion, I think video games are a positive tool for educating and improving people’s health. Video games not only help people to improve their English skills but also help individuals to treat some diseases.
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A lot of
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people
argue that
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video
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games
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the individuals who play them. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
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video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are a useful study tool and harmless.

Firstly
,
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people
can study through playing
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video
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games
. To
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begin
with,
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many
modern
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games
are designed
with English instructions. This is
vitally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for both working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and students
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because
they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
feel relaxed
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but
also
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improve
their English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, players around the world can connect and play together.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
brain stimulating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
promote creativity, problem solving, and analytical thinking such as trivia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, IQ challenges.
For instance
, Brain Out is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has the perfect combination of IQ, reflexes and activity.

Secondly
,
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people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their health through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can treat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases in children such as autism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have an impact on emotional nerves. Second of all,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researchers from Washington university concluded that playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
physical and mental pain.
For example
, certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children with the disease.
In addition
, children can practice eye reflexes.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
tool for educating and improving
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people’s
health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals to treat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases.
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IELTS essay video games is very harmful to the individuals. To what do extent

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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