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Please list any community service activities you have completed or engage in that may be relevant to your Global UGRAD application

Please list any community service activities you have completed or engage in that may be relevant to your Global UGRAD application qQQ0a
Unpaid work in a group of people to assist their community is a community service so throughout my years of school I served for my society in a several ways and it was my life education so I want to share my experience and I hope that it will be beneficial for UGRAD Program. Firstly, when I was 16 years old I worked with schoolchildren by helping them complete their homework assignment and spend quality time with them. Therefore, I organize kids club where I read stories and played with children when their parents work. Secondly, I volunteered a lot especially in a museum and in a touristic center of Uzbekistan as a result foreigns are informed about our history and culture. Thirdly, planting trees, creating a new trail at a nature center and holding a recycling contest help me not only keep my environment clean but also it helps building relationships, making new friends by working in a team together. Finally, participating in community service activities such as customer service in my work and community service club at university now I learn a lot of valuable job and communication skills which informed me what my society need. In conclusion, volunteering historical places, tutoring children after school have been a great experience for me. Interestingly, by participating in special clubs I become better at public speaking in addition to help to environment is a cause to live with privilege I my country and I hopefully continue my community service activities to be as an example for my homeland so if I share these my experiences and skills it can be useful for UGRAD Program I think.
Unpaid work in a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to assist their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
throughout my years of school I served for my society in a several ways and it was my life education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I want to share my experience and I hope that it will be beneficial for
Possible spelling mistake found.
UGRAD
Program.

Firstly
, when I was 16 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
I worked with schoolchildren by helping them complete their homework assignment and spend quality time with them.
Therefore
, I organize kids club where I read stories and played with children when their parents work.
Secondly
, I volunteered a lot
especially
in a museum and in a touristic center of Uzbekistan
as a result
Possible spelling mistake found.
foreigns
are informed
about our history and culture.
Thirdly
, planting trees, creating a new trail at a nature center and holding a recycling contest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
my environment clean
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
The verb 'helps' is used with an infinitive: "to build" or "build".
building
relationships, making new friends by working in a team together.
Finally
, participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
activities such as customer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
in my work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
club at university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
valuable job and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which informed me what my society need.

In conclusion
, volunteering historical places, tutoring children after school have been a great experience for me.
Interestingly
, by participating in special clubs I become better at public speaking
in addition
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to environment is a cause to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with privilege I my country and I
hopefully
continue my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
activities to be as an example for my homeland
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if I share
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "my experiences" or "these experiences"?
these my experiences
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
it can be useful for
Possible spelling mistake found.
UGRAD
Program I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
.
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IELTS essay Please list any community service activities you have completed or engage in that may be relevant to your Global UGRAD application

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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