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Please describe your short-term and long-term professional goals. How will this program help you in reaching these goals? (500 word max

Please describe your short-term and long-term professional goals. How will this program help you in reaching these goals? (500 word max jqAM
Business analytics has become a crucial and integral part of any business in many industries like agriculture, marketing, retail, risk management, healthcare, marketing analytics, and research. There are numerous applications of business analytics, thus by getting a master's degree in this field I will have the chance to work in various fields. Data science and business analytics are not only essential in the business world, but for in our personal lives. Knowing how to process and analyze data will help to think better and make informative and sounds decisions. This what I did when I decided to apply for this master's degree in your business school. I always had a dream to work to master data science and analytics so I can support businesses in making strategic decisions or save millions of lives. This is why I studied SQL and worked in IT department in a corporate company where I can get business experience and insights. However, I need to master other courses which are offered in this program such as Customer Data Analytics, Applied Statistics, Quantitative Techniques, and programming. Therefore, Being a graduate with a master's degree in business analytics from Fox business school is a stepping stone to my career in business. As I have a deeper background in business and programming skills. After I get graduation to work as either a data scientist or business analytics specialist in a top-tier organization or system analyst in NEGO. As a SQL certificated developer and administrator, I learned significant techniques to store, link. manage, and extracting data but with learning data statistics and data modeling. Thus, by being trained also in data analysis tools, I can do things such as predictive modeling. This involves analyzing data about a business’s past performance to predict how it will perform in the future and make business decisions accordingly. For example, I can support the business to decide where to open its next stores, and this will have great various opportunities for leadership roles in many fields. I may also enroll in a Ph. D. degree which is available in this business school. Now, after having acquired the basic aptitude, skills, knowledge, and work experience. , I feel this is the apt time to pursue my graduate study in the field of my interest and strongly believe that my aptitude and aspirations find a terrific match in your program. Checking this business school website, I find myself certain that pursuing this program is the ideal step for my academic as well as a professional career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
analytics has become a crucial and integral part of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industries like agriculture, marketing, retail,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
management, healthcare, marketing analytics, and research. There are numerous applications of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
analytics,
thus
by getting a master's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
in this field I will have the chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in various fields.

Data science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
analytics are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
essential in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for in our personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Knowing how to process and analyze
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
better and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
informative and sounds decisions. This what I did when I decided to apply for this master's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
school.

I always had a dream to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to master
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
science and analytics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
in making strategic decisions or save millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This is why I studied SQL and worked in IT department in a corporate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
where I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
experience and insights.
However
, I need to master other courses which
are offered
in this program such as Customer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
Analytics, Applied Statistics, Quantitative Techniques, and programming.
Therefore
, Being a graduate with a master's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
analytics from Fox
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
school is a stepping stone to my career in business.

As I have a deeper background in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and programming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. After I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
graduation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as either a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
scientist or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
analytics specialist in a top-tier organization or system analyst in
Possible spelling mistake found.
NEGO
. As
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
SQL certificated developer and administrator, I learned significant techniques to store, link.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
manage
, and extracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
statistics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
modeling.
Thus
, by
being trained
also
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
analysis tools, I can do things such as predictive modeling. This involves analyzing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
about a business’s past performance to predict how it will perform in the future and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
decisions
accordingly
.
For example
, I can support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to decide where to open its
next
stores, and this will have great various opportunities for leadership roles in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields. I may
also
enroll in a
The more common abbreviation of the term 'philosophiae doctor' is "Ph.D.".
Ph. D.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
which is available in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
school.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, after having acquired the basic aptitude,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, knowledge, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
I feel this is the apt time to pursue my graduate study in the field of my interest and
strongly
believe that my aptitude and aspirations find a terrific match in your program. Checking this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
school website, I find myself certain that pursuing this program is the ideal step for my academic
as well
as a professional
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
career
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IELTS essay Please describe your short-term and long-term professional goals. How will this program help you in reaching these goals? (500 word max

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
420 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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