Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

To provide the Personal Statement

To provide the Personal Statement wpAl
I have enjoyed art since I was a child. My parents sent me to the art class most of my summer vacation. They wanted us to get in touch with different subjects to find out our strengths and what we were really into at an early age. A kid does not have any patient in doing things that they do not like. I was patient and focused a lot on sketching, coloring, and being the only one willing to stay back just to draw more. It was not until I was 16 years old, I found that my room did not have enough space for me and I asked myself many questions: What if I moved that wall to create more space for my room? What if I reconfigured the space to be more logical? At that moment, I realized that Architecture would be a part of my life. Taking the Diploma in Architecture at BCA Academy has not only allowed me to learn more about architecture but also motivate me to learn harder every day. The achievement of the Gold Award in Diploma in Architecture is considered significant to reward for the process that I had made. I used to be an international student who faced a language barrier, always took note, did research before classes, and made effort in sharpening English day by day. I am now confident in communicating in English, attending international architecture competitions, and being the top student in my cohort. Besides developing myself, I also helped my classmate to resolve problems on our tutorials, or advice on their presentations. To me, learning is growing together as a team. I tried to organize a small study group whenever I had time to help them go through it. I explained and gave some examples to help them understand the lessons more. I gave some tips and suggestions for their presentation when they were rehearsing. As a result, all of us had graduated with a good grade. My interest in Architecture became more focused when I was in the second year of my diploma. After learning and observing how architecture could make our life better, I started participating in architecture competitions around the world just to explore and apply what I had learned. In 2019, one of my competed projects was shortlisted for the top 100. Having completed my internship at TOPOS Architects as part of my Industrial Attachment Program, I acquired vital knowledge and experience the working life of a professional architect. In the office, I was given opportunities to apply what I had learned at school. I was able to read both architecture and structural floor plans. From there, I could do up 3-dimension sketches of structures and buildings. I joined my supervisor to prepare Authority submissions such as URA, BCA, PUB, FSSD, IRAS, and so on. Fortunately, we got all approved. This was the highlight of my work experience as I was able to apply the knowledge that I had learned from my Building Plans and Requirements course and put them into practice. Besides, I joined the team to propose creative ideas for commercial and residential projects. Overall, this was a great opportunity for me to experience both the practical and technical sides of the profession. An Architect has a lot more things to concern about than just design. A good balance between learning hard and other extra-curricular activities is considered very important to me. One of my favorite things to do during my spare time would definitely be doing Muay Thai. This martial art not only keeps me fit but also helps me improve interpersonal and team-working skills. Whether it is on or off the mat, we have to keep our partners safe after battles. It gives me the responsibility to look out for everyone and guide them if they are doing the techniques wrongly. I strongly believe that these are key qualities that would serve me well for this course. I have always been an arty person and passionate about doing creative works. I would love to continue pursuing a career in Architecture because here is where I can bring all of my strengths together as a whole. I do believe that there is nothing more and doing the work that I am passionate about. It would be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I am very excited about the wide array of career opportunities that this course will offer me. My dream is to build a place that people not only stop to admire but also make them feel like homed and find themselves.
I have enjoyed art since I was a child. My parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
me to the art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
most of my summer vacation. They wanted us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects to find out our strengths and what we were
really
into at an early age. A kid does not have any patient in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
things that they do not like. I was patient and focused a lot on sketching, coloring, and being the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one willing to stay back
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to draw more. It was not until I was 16 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, I found that my room did not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
space for me and I asked myself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions: What if I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
that wall to create more space for my room? What if I reconfigured the space to be more logical? At that moment, I realized that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Architecture
would be a part of my life.

Taking the Diploma in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Architecture
at BCA Academy has not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
me to learn more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
motivate me to learn harder every day. The achievement of the Gold Award in Diploma in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Architecture
is considered
significant to reward for the process that I had made. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be an international student who faced a language barrier, always took note, did research
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
classes, and made effort in sharpening English day by day. I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
confident
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in communicating in
English, attending international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
competitions, and being the top student in my cohort.

Besides
developing myself, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
my classmate to resolve problems on our tutorials, or advice on their presentations. To me, learning is growing together as a team. I tried to organize a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
study group whenever I had time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them go through it. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
and gave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them understand the lessons more.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
gave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tips and suggestions for their presentation when they were rehearsing.
As a result
, all of us had graduated with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grade.

My interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Architecture
became more focused when I was in the second year of my diploma. After learning and observing how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life better, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
competitions around the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to explore and apply what I had learned. In 2019, one of my competed projects
was shortlisted
for the top 100.

Having completed my internship at
Possible spelling mistake found.
TOPOS
Architects as part of my Industrial Attachment Program, I acquired vital knowledge and experience the working life of a professional architect. In the office, I was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
to apply what I had learned at school. I was able to read both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
and structural floor plans. From there, I could do up 3-dimension sketches of structures and buildings. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
my supervisor to prepare Authority submissions such as URA, BCA, PUB,
Possible spelling mistake found.
FSSD
, IRAS, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Fortunately
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
all approved. This was the highlight of my work experience as I was able to apply the knowledge that I had learned from my Building Plans and Requirements course and put them into practice.
Besides
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the team to propose creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for commercial and residential projects.
Overall
, this was a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
for me to experience both the practical and technical sides of the profession. An Architect has a lot more things to concern about than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
design.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
balance between learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and other extra-curricular activities
is considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to me. One of my favorite things to do during my spare time would definitely be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
Muay
Thai. This martial art not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
me fit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
interpersonal and team-working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Whether it is on or off the mat, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our partners safe after battles. It gives me the responsibility to look out for everyone and guide them if they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
the techniques
wrongly
. I
strongly
believe that these are key qualities that would serve me well for this course.

I have always been an arty person and passionate about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
creative works.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to continue pursuing a career in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Architecture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
here is where I can bring all of my strengths together as a whole.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
do believe that there is nothing more and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
the work that I am passionate about. It would be a once-in-a-lifetime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
excited about the wide array of career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
that this course will offer me. My dream is to build a place that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to admire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel like homed and find themselves.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay To provide the Personal Statement

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
760 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • To provide the Personal Statement