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Pets should be treated like family members Do you agree or disagree with this following statement

Pets should be treated like family members 6xkd0
Human and animal is created by God in the same way. Both of them have feeling, need consume food, and can speak with same species, human to human, animal to animal. But, the difference is only about how can they think? Of course only human can speak. Hence, I agree that essentially human and animal can treated samely like pets should be treated like my family. Pets such as cat and dog are cute animal. I like both of them very much because they act like my sister and brother. For example, I have cats comes from persia. I bought it when she was one-year-old. He is very small, pretty, and smiles at me. I fell in love at the first sight. She runs to me and touch my foot. All of her act was really cute. I felt like I am her sister. Another pet in my house is dog. When I was a young girl, I felt scared to see him. He has bad face and always screams out long. But, my father said that he is kind and not wild. If I would touch him, I should gaves my hand to him and he acts like kiss my hand. My heartbeat hear too fast. I cannot breath for a while and close my eyes. When I open it, surprisingly, he smiles at me and so do I. I also know that mostly animals like dog and cat only hold on for less than ten-year. After that, they died. Like human, If they died, I would like to make beautiful place for rest of their life behind my house. I will make by my own hand. When I get sad, I will go there and spread flowers over there. I put their photo on the top. Hence, I can always remember their face and our moment like walks around garden. In conclusion, I agree when people say animals like dog and cat should be treated like my family because they always being my friends, long-lasting friend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
is created
by God
in the same way
. Both of them have feeling, need consume food, and can speak with same species,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the difference is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about how can they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
?
Of course
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
can speak.
Hence
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
essentially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
can treated
Possible spelling mistake found.
samely
like pets should
be treated
like my family.

Pets such as cat and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dog
are cute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
. I like both of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they act like my sister and brother.
For example
, I have cats
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
persia
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
it when she was one-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. He is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, pretty, and smiles at me. I fell in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
at the
first
sight. She runs to me and touch my foot. All of her act was
really
cute. I felt like I am her sister.

Another pet in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dog
. When I was a young girl, I felt scared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
him. He has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
face and always screams out long.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, my father said that he is kind and not wild. If I
Consider removing 'would'. (Usually, 'would' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless to make a request or give a polite order.)
would touch
him, I should
Possible spelling mistake found.
gaves
my hand to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
him and
he acts like kiss my hand. My heartbeat hear too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. I cannot
Did you mean the verb "breathe"? 'breath' is a noun.
breath
for a while and close my eyes. When I open it,
surprisingly
, he smiles at me and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
do I.

I
also
know that
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dog
and cat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hold on for less than ten-year. After that, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
. Like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
, If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
place for rest of their life behind my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
hand. When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sad, I will go there and spread flowers over there. I put their photo on the top.
Hence
, I can always remember their face and our moment like walks around garden.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dog
and cat should
be treated
like my family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
The adverb 'always' is usually put after the verb 'being'.
always being
my friends, long-lasting friend
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IELTS essay Pets should be treated like family members

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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