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Personally, I believe that one should gather knowledge about multiple academic programs rather than one specific program.

Personally, I believe that one should gather knowledge about multiple academic programs rather than one specific program. VQEx3
Personally, I believe that one should gather knowledge about multiple academic programs rather than one specific program. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. To begin with, in today's world, the job market is fluctuating. Subject which has job demand at today may not be demandable in the future. Thus, If one becomes specialist in only one subject, he will be at the risk of losing his job in the distant future. Therefore, for securing job, one should learn different subjects. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. One of my cousin did graduation in statistics and his second major was computer engineering. After graduation he had been started working as a statistician. But in the advent of Big data, today's world doesn't need statisticians anymore. As a result, he lost his job. After losing his job, he started working as a computer engineer as CSE was his second major. In this way, he did not become unemployed for becoming specialist at two academic programs. Morever, for becoming a successful researcher, multidiciplinery knowledge is required for one. Research requires knowledge of different academic programs. Therefore, if one becomes expert in multiple disciplines, he is likely to shine as a researcher. For example, my brother is a doctor and he wanted to become a public health researcher. For doing public health research statistical knowledge is much needed. That is why my brother did masters in statistics along with his MBBS degree. As a result, now he is now a renewed public health researcher in our country, He already published 500 public health research papers. In conclusion I will say to become successful one must gather knowledge in multiple academic disciplines. This is because to make his job more secure and to become expert in multidisciplinery fields.
Personally
, I believe that one should gather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
programs
rather
than one specific program. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market is fluctuating. Subject which has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
demand at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
may not be demandable in the future.
Thus
, If one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
specialist in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one subject, he will be at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of losing his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the distant future.
Therefore
, for securing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, one should learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. One of my cousin did graduation in statistics and his second major was computer engineering.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
The comma is probably missing here: "graduation, he".
graduation he
had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working as a statistician.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the advent of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
data,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world doesn't need statisticians anymore.
As a result
, he lost his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. After losing his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working as a computer engineer as CSE was his second major. In this way, he did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
unemployed for becoming specialist at two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
programs.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Morever
, for becoming a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researcher
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
multidiciplinery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is required
for one. Research requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
programs.
Therefore
, if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
expert in multiple disciplines, he is likely to shine as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researcher
.
For example
, my brother is a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
doctor and
he wanted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researcher
. For doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
research statistical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
.
That is
why my brother did
The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: "master"
masters
in statistics along with his
Possible spelling mistake found.
MBBS
degree.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a renewed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researcher
in our country, He already published 500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
research papers.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
will say to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
successful one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
gather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
disciplines. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
more secure and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
expert in
Possible spelling mistake found.
multidisciplinery
fields.
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IELTS essay Personally, I believe that one should gather knowledge about multiple academic programs rather than one specific program.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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