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advantage and disadvantage of part-time job for uni student

advantage and disadvantage of part-time job for uni student j8EPL
In many countries, university students are encouraged to find part-time jobs. Some think this is a good development while others disagree. The largest advantages are teenager will know the valuable of the money. Part-time jobs are help student have more experient about the future job. In the other hand they can make money to afford the subsistence expenses help their parents. Because of the important of money nowadays so teenager need to have one or two part-time jobs for a party, for meal, for fastfood, for louge, club, … On the other hand, somebody said uni student can’t have part-time jobs because they will be distracted from study. They will focus on working, money and the big stress of manager and the owner will be pressing on them. Money problem is the main reason immidiately make uni student give up learning. Second disadvantages is their health, as you will have too much thing to do on your schedule: time for atudy, time for job, time for manage your money and have less time for yourseft it’ll affect your health too much.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are encouraged
to find part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
development while others disagree. The largest advantages are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
will know the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
valuable


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
the
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money
. Part-time
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jobs
are
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help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
have more
Possible spelling mistake found.
experient
about the future
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job
. In the other hand they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to afford the subsistence expenses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their parents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
nowadays
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so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
need to have one or two part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for a party, for meal, for
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastfood
, for
Possible spelling mistake found.
louge
, club, …

On the other hand
, somebody said uni
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can’t have part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
be distracted
from study. They will focus on working,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of manager and the owner will be pressing on them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
problem is the main reason
Possible spelling mistake found.
immidiately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
uni
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
give up learning. Second disadvantages is their health, as you will have too much thing to do on your schedule:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
atudy
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for manage your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
yourseft
it’ll affect your health too much.
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IELTS essay advantage and disadvantage of part-time job for uni student

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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