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Personal Statement to apply university

Personal Statement to apply university a7ln9
My educational background is quite diverse. I spent my last three years at the Geelong College Australia, and have successfully finished year 12 there. My choices of subjects reflected the diversity of my interests - English, Mathematics, International Studies, Legal Studies, and Economics. I excelled in International Studies and was awarded Academic Merit. Upon my return to Surabaya at the start of year 1999, I attended IBMT (Institute of Business Management and Technology), an International University which follows the United States curriculum, at which I majored in International Management. The subjects I took were: Accounting I and II, Sociology, Psychology, World Civilization, English Composition, Public Speaking, and Organizational Management. I finished the semester with a GPA of 3. 6 The excellent quality of the University, as well as helpful teachers and friends, have contributed immensely to my success. In the classroom I can do much more than to warm the seat; I can add a lot to class discussions. As I have grown older and more mature, I have begun to realise the value and significance of helping others and contributing to my surrounding community. I was involved in many clubs and social activities such as the United Nations Youth Conferences, Geelong Radio Station, Peer Education Street Theatre, 40 Hours Famine Committee, Amnesty International, a badminton club and basketball club. I also value very much my work experience at Weighton and MacDonald's Law Firm Geelong. My greatest accomplishment in social activities is to be one of the two students in my school selected, and awarded scholarship of AUD 1000 to attend the National Youth Reconciliation Conference in Darwin, Australia. After I returned to Indonesia, I became an active member of the Rotary Club and The British Council. These extra-curricular experiences have provided me with a balance for the rigorous school works and further developed my interests and talents while serving others. Living in Geelong, a small yet cosmopolitan city in Australia has influenced me interpersonally The experience of living in such sharp contrast to my life in Surabaya, Indonesia, has given me a broader view of the world and the ability to adapt to a different culture which every international student must possess. Living isolated from Indonesian speakers has also made my English improve surprisingly fast. I'm a blend of two contrasting lifestyles, and my thoughts, ideas, and actions reflect this blend. Of course if it wasn't for my parents giving me the opportunity to study in Australia, I wouldn't have been so privileged to have such an educational background. After finishing senior school, I would like to fulfill a life long wish, which is to study Asian Studies and International Studies. Indonesian reformation will open immense International relations opportunities in near future. I aspire to work closely with the United Nations and to be involved in Indonesia's international affairs. This is why I believe that an Asia Pacific Studies degree at Ritsumaikan Asia Pacific University would be the perfect course for me. There are three specific reasons why I want to study at APU, Japan. First, I wish to receive a high-quality Asia Pacific Studies degree. Second, I hope to take full advantage of one of the leading Japanese University in order to excel at my studies Third, I desire to once again experience multicultural exposure and dynamic learning environment. I'm aware that generally, Asia Pacific Studies is as a degree which develops many skills and covers facts that are valued and relevant in many walks of life. Whichever route I decide to take, I can be sure that the study will equip me with the necessary skills to continue to acquire new knowledge and understanding throughout my entire working life. I believe that the combination of my past experiences and academic knowledge will qualify me as an Asia Pacific University student candidate, and furthermore will prepare me to achieve my career goals in the future. Learning is what I do best, and in Japan I will have the perfect opportunity to excel at it.
My educational background is quite diverse. I spent my last three years at the Geelong College Australia, and have
successfully
finished year 12 there. My choices of subjects reflected the diversity of my interests
-
English, Mathematics,
International
Studies
, Legal
Studies
, and Economics. I excelled in
International
Studies
and
was awarded
Academic Merit. Upon my return to Surabaya at the
start
of year 1999, I attended
IBMT
(Institute of Business Management and Technology), an
International
University
which follows the United States curriculum, at which I majored in
International
Management. The subjects I took were: Accounting I and II, Sociology, Psychology, World Civilization, English Composition, Public Speaking, and Organizational Management. I finished the semester with a GPA of 3. 6

The excellent quality of the
University
,
as well
as helpful teachers and friends, have contributed
immensely
to my success. In the classroom I can do much more than to warm the seat; I can
add
a lot to
class
discussions. As I have grown older and more mature, I have begun to
realise
the value and significance of helping others and contributing to my surrounding community. I
was involved
in
many
clubs
and social activities such as the United Nations Youth Conferences, Geelong Radio Station, Peer Education Street
Theatre
, 40 Hours Famine Committee, Amnesty
International
, a badminton
club
and basketball
club
. I
also
value
very
much my work
experience
at
Weighton
and MacDonald's Law Firm Geelong. My greatest accomplishment in social activities is to be one of the two students in my school selected, and awarded scholarship of AUD 1000 to attend the National Youth Reconciliation Conference in Darwin, Australia. After I returned to Indonesia, I became an active member of the Rotary
Club
and The British Council. These extra-curricular
experiences
have provided me with a balance for the rigorous school works and
further
developed my interests and talents while serving others. Living in Geelong, a
small
yet
cosmopolitan city in Australia has influenced me
interpersonally


The
experience
of living in such sharp contrast to my
life
in Surabaya, Indonesia, has
given
me a broader view of the world and the ability to adapt to a
different
culture which every
international
student
must
possess. Living isolated from Indonesian speakers has
also
made my English
improve
surprisingly
fast
. I'm a blend of two contrasting lifestyles, and my thoughts,
ideas
, and actions reflect this blend.
Of course
if it wasn't for my parents giving me the opportunity to
study
in Australia, I wouldn't have been
so
privileged to have such an educational background. After finishing senior school, I would like to fulfill a
life
long wish, which is to
study
Asian
Studies
and
International
Studies
. Indonesian reformation will open immense
International
relations opportunities in near future. I aspire to work
closely
with the United Nations and to
be involved
in Indonesia's
international
affairs. This is why I believe that an Asia Pacific
Studies
degree at
Ritsumaikan
Asia Pacific
University
would be the perfect course for me. There are three specific reasons why I want to
study
at APU, Japan.
First
, I wish to receive a high-quality Asia Pacific
Studies
degree. Second, I hope to take full advantage of one of the leading Japanese
University
in order to excel at my studies

Third, I desire to once again
experience
multicultural exposure and dynamic learning environment. I'm aware that
generally
, Asia Pacific
Studies
is as a degree which develops
many
skills
and covers facts that
are valued
and relevant in
many
walks of
life
. Whichever route I decide to take, I can be sure that the
study
will equip me with the necessary
skills
to continue to acquire new knowledge and understanding throughout my entire working
life
. I believe that the combination of my past
experiences
and academic knowledge will qualify me as an Asia Pacific
University
student candidate, and
furthermore
will prepare me to achieve my career goals in the future. Learning is what I do best, and in Japan I will have the perfect opportunity to excel at it.
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IELTS essay Personal Statement to apply university

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
666 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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