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Many people say that all young children need to be fully vaccinated for preventable diseases, while others believe that vaccines are either unnecessary or unsafe. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Many people say that all young children need to be fully vaccinated for preventable diseases, while others believe that vaccines are either unnecessary or unsafe. Discuss both views and give your opinion gqWpD
Nowadays vaccines are being manufactured to prevent some dreaded diseases. Some people argue that not only adults but also young children should be vaccinated against dangerous diseases, however, others object that vaccines can be unnecessary and detrimental to human bodies. I agree with the former and the following essay will analyze both these views along with explaining my point of view. On the one hand, vaccines are thought to have potential harmful effects on children's bodies due to their side effects and injection dose. Firstly, there's no denying that safety is the main issue many parents are concerned about. Thus, some reactions after vaccination which may be fever, cough, nausea, fainting. . . make parents afraid, and in severe cases, it can lead to death. Secondly, many parents are still wondering about the dose of medicine given to their children. In fact, there are many cases when nurses confuse drugs and dosages, affecting children's health. On the other hand, I believe that having children inoculated is safe and should be implemented. Firstly, it is believed that prevention is better than cure, so vaccination will provide immunity, helping children against dangerous diseases. If children are not vaccinated in time, they may be seriously affected or die from diseases such as infectious diseases, measles, flu. . . Secondly, parents should not delay vaccination for children because of their worries. That's because vaccines are tested to ensure that they are safe and effective for children to receive at the recommended ages. Thus, common vaccine side effects are not only mild but controllable. In conclusion, vaccines can bring some negative effects on children's health, but the benefits from injection are undeniable. I think that in the future, parents should vaccinate their children to help them ensure their health and life.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
are
being manufactured
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dreaded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be vaccinated
against
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
,
however
, others object that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
can be unnecessary and detrimental to human bodies. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former and the following essay will analyze both these views along with explaining my point of view.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to have potential harmful effects on children's bodies due to their side effects and injection dose.
Firstly
, there's no denying that safety is the main issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are concerned
about.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reactions after vaccination which may be fever, cough, nausea, fainting.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
afraid, and in severe cases, it can lead to death.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
still
wondering about the dose of medicine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In fact, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases when nurses confuse drugs and dosages, affecting children's health.

On the other hand
, I believe that having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
inoculated is safe and should
be implemented
.
Firstly
, it
is believed
that prevention is better than cure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
vaccination will provide immunity, helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
against
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not vaccinated in time, they may be
seriously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
such as infectious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
, measles, flu.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not delay vaccination for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their worries. That's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
to ensure that they are safe and effective for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to receive at the recommended ages.
Thus
, common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
side effects are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mild
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
controllable.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on children's health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the benefits from injection are undeniable. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in the future,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should vaccinate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them ensure their health and life.
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IELTS essay Many people say that all young children need to be fully vaccinated for preventable diseases, while others believe that vaccines are either unnecessary or unsafe. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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