I was one of those kids who always wanted to be doctor. I didn’t understand the responsibilities and heartbreaks, the difficult decisions, and the years of study and training that go with the title, but I did understand that the person in the white coat stood for knowledge, professionalism, and compassion. As a child, visits to the pediatrician were important events. I’d attend to my hair and clothes, and travel to the appointment in anticipation. I loved the interaction with my doctor. I loved that whoever I was in the larger world, I could enter the safe space of the doctor’s office, and for a moment my concerns were heard and evaluated. I listened as my mother communicated with the doctor. I’d be asked questions, respectfully examined, treatments and options would be weighed, and we would be on our way. My mother had been supported in her efforts to raise a well child, and I’d had a meaningful interaction with an adult who cared for my body and development. I understood medicine as an act of service, which aligned with my values, and became a dream.
I was hospitalized for several months as a teenager and was inspired by the experience, despite the illness. In the time of diagnosis, treatment and recovery, I met truly sick children. Children who were much more ill than me. Children who wouldn’t recover. We shared a four-bed room, and we shared our medical stories. Because of the old hospital building, there was little privacy in our room, and we couldn’t help but listen-in during rounds, learning the medical details, becoming “experts” in our four distinct cases. I had more mobility than some of the patients, and when the medical team and family members were unavailable, I’d run simple errands for my roommates, liaise informally with staff, and attend to needs. To bring physical relief, a cold compress, a warmed blanket, a message to a nurse, filled me with such an intense joy and sense of purpose that I applied for a volunteer position at the hospital even before my release.
I have since been volunteering in emergency departments, out-patient clinics, and long term care facilities. While the depth of human suffering is at times shocking and the iterations of illness astounding, it is in the long-term care facility that I had the most meaningful experiences by virtue of my responsibilities and the nature of the patients’ illnesses. Charles was 55 when he died. He had early onset Parkinson’s Disease with dementia that revealed itself with a small tremor when he was in his late twenties. Charles had a wife and three daughters who visited regularly, but whom he didn’t often remember. Over four years as a volunteer, my role with the family was to fill in the spaces left by Charles’ periodic inability to project his voice as well as his growing cognitive lapses. I would tell the family of his activities between their visits, and I would remind him of their visits and their news. This was a hard experience for me. I watched as 3 daughters, around my own age, incrementally lost their father. I became angry, and then I grew even more determined.
In the summer of third year of my Health Sciences degree, I was chosen to participate in an undergraduate research fellowship in biomedical research at my university. As part of this experience, I worked alongside graduate students, postdoctoral fellows, medical students, physicians, and faculty in Alzheimer’s research into biomarkers that might predict future disease. We collaborated in teams, and by way of the principal investigator’s careful leadership, I learned wherever one falls in terms of rank, each contribution is vital to the outcome. None of the work is in isolation. For instance, I was closely mentored by Will, a graduate student who had been in my role the previous summer. He, in turn, collaborated with post docs and medical students, turning to faculty when roadblocks were met. While one person’s knowledge and skill may be deeper than another’s, individual efforts make up the whole. Working in this team, aside from developing research skills, I realized that practicing medicine is not an individual pursuit, but a collaborative commitment to excellence in scholarship and leadership, which all begins with mentorship.
Building on this experience with teamwork in the lab, I participated in a global health initiative in Nepal for four months, where I worked alongside nurses, doctors, and translators. I worked in mobile rural health camps that offered tuberculosis care, monitored the health and development of babies and children under 5, and tended to minor injuries. We worked 11-hour days helping hundreds of people in the 3 days we spent in each location. Patients would already be in line before we woke each morning. I spent each day recording basic demographic information, blood pressure, pulse, temperature, weight, height, as well as random blood sugar levels, for each patient, before they lined up to see a doctor. Each day was exhausting and satisfying. We helped so many people. But this satisfaction was quickly displaced by a developing understanding of issues in health equity.
My desire to be doctor as a young person was not misguided, but simply naïve. I’ve since learned the role of empathy and compassion through my experiences as a patient and volunteer. I’ve broadened my contextual understanding of medicine in the lab and in Nepal. My purpose hasn’t changed, but what has developed is my understanding that to be a physician is to help people live healthy, dignified lives by practicing both medicine and social justice. 
I was one of those kids  
who
 always wanted to be  
doctor
. I didn’t understand the responsibilities and heartbreaks, the difficult decisions, and the years of study and training that  
go with
 the title,  
but
 I did understand that the person in the white coat stood for knowledge, professionalism, and compassion. As a child, visits to the pediatrician were  
important
  events
. I’d attend to my hair and clothes, and travel to the appointment in anticipation. I  
loved
 the interaction with my  
doctor
.  
I
  loved
 that whoever I was in the larger world, I could enter the safe space of the  
doctor’s
 office, and for a moment my concerns  
were heard
 and evaluated.  
I
 listened as my mother communicated with the  
doctor
.  
I
’d  
be asked
 questions,  
respectfully
 examined, treatments and options would  
be weighed
, and we would be on our way. My mother had  
been supported
 in her efforts to raise a well child, and I’d had a meaningful interaction with an adult  
who
 cared for my body and development. I understood  
medicine
 as an act of service, which aligned with my values, and became a dream.
I  
was hospitalized
 for several months as a  
teenager
 and  
was inspired
 by the  
experience
, despite the illness. In the time of diagnosis, treatment and recovery, I met  
truly
 sick  
children
.  
Children
  who
 were much more ill than me.  
Children
  who
 wouldn’t recover. We shared a four-bed room, and we shared our  
medical
 stories.  
Because
 of the  
old
 hospital building, there was  
little
 privacy in our room, and we couldn’t  
help
  but
 listen-in during rounds, learning the  
medical
  details
, becoming “experts” in our four distinct cases. I had more mobility than  
some of the
  patients
, and when the  
medical
 team and family members were unavailable, I’d run simple errands for my roommates, liaise  
informally
 with staff, and attend  
to
 needs. To bring physical relief, a  
cold
 compress, a warmed blanket, a message to a nurse, filled me with such an intense joy and sense of purpose that I applied for a volunteer position at the hospital even  
before
 my release.
I have since been volunteering in emergency departments, out-patient clinics, and long term care facilities. While the depth of human suffering is at times shocking and the iterations of illness astounding, it is in the long-term care facility that I had the most meaningful  
experiences
 by virtue of my responsibilities and the nature of the  
patients’
 illnesses. Charles was 55 when he  
died
. He had early onset Parkinson’s Disease with dementia that revealed itself with a  
small
 tremor when he was in his late twenties. Charles had a wife and three daughters  
who
 visited  
regularly
,  
but
 whom he didn’t  
often
 remember. Over four years as a volunteer, my role with the family was to fill in the spaces  
left
 by Charles’ periodic inability to project his voice  
as well
 as his growing cognitive lapses. I would  
tell
 the family of his activities between their visits, and I would remind him of their visits and their news. This was a  
hard
  experience
 for me. I  
watched
 as 3 daughters, around my  
own
 age,  
incrementally
 lost their father. I became angry, and then I grew even more determined.
In the summer of third year of my  
Health
 Sciences degree, I  
was chosen
 to participate in an undergraduate  
research
 fellowship in biomedical  
research
 at my university. As part of this  
experience
, I worked alongside graduate  
students
, postdoctoral fellows,  
medical
  students
, physicians, and faculty in Alzheimer’s  
research
 into biomarkers that might predict future disease. We collaborated in teams, and by way of the principal investigator’s careful leadership, I learned wherever one falls in terms of rank, each contribution is vital to the outcome. None of the work is in isolation.  
For instance
, I was  
closely
 mentored by Will, a graduate  
student
  who
 had been in my role the previous summer. He, in turn, collaborated with post docs and  
medical
  students
, turning to faculty when roadblocks  
were met
. While one person’s knowledge and  
skill
 may be deeper than another’s, individual efforts  
make
 up the whole. Working in this team, aside from developing  
research
  skills
, I realized that practicing  
medicine
 is not an individual pursuit,  
but
 a collaborative commitment to excellence in scholarship and leadership, which all  
begins
 with mentorship.
Building on this  
experience
 with teamwork in the lab, I participated in a global  
health
 initiative in Nepal for four months, where I worked alongside nurses,  
doctors
, and translators. I worked in mobile rural  
health
 camps that offered tuberculosis care, monitored the  
health
 and development of babies and  
children
 under 5, and tended to minor injuries. We worked 11-hour days helping hundreds of  
people
 in the 3 days we spent in each location.  
Patients
 would already be in line  
before
 we woke each morning. I spent each day recording basic demographic information, blood pressure, pulse, temperature, weight, height,  
as well
 as random blood sugar levels, for each  
patient
,  
before
 they lined up to  
see
 a  
doctor
. Each day was exhausting and satisfying. We  
helped
  so
  many
  people
.  
But
 this satisfaction was  
quickly
 displaced by a developing understanding of issues in  
health
 equity.
My desire to be  
doctor
 as a young person was not misguided,  
but
  simply
 naïve. I’ve since learned the role of empathy and compassion through my  
experiences
 as a  
patient
 and volunteer. I’ve broadened my contextual understanding of  
medicine
 in the lab and in Nepal. My purpose hasn’t  
changed
,  
but
 what has developed is my understanding that to be a physician is to  
help
  people
  live
 healthy, dignified  
lives
 by practicing both  
medicine
 and social justice.