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It is pointless making children who lack artistis talent learn painting and drawing in art classes at school

It is pointless making children who lack artistis talent learn painting and drawing in art classes at school Nlg5b
In many secondary education systems around the world, there comes a point where pupils who lack talent in non-academic subjects like Art and music are encouraged or made to switch subjects. I mostly agree with this statement. In the following paragraphs, I will put forth my arguments to support my point of view. To begin with, children need to develop skills that they have more aptitude with, because it is far easier to learn a subject that pupil love. It could be improved in further life and children can become a solid professional in their case. Moreover, if we start to prohibit children do what they love and push them to learn subjects which we consider right for pupils, they can have started to disgust of it. As well as children may have fall in depressions, so of that restrictions. On the other hand, learning uninteresting subjects may open eyes on new opportunities. For instance, schoolchild, who has never loved match, can become a fine programmer if we can take his attention and start to making lessons in interesting shape for him. Although, studying something new ia always assist to rise up the brain activity to which child can improve his grades within other subjects. To summarize, children should not be made to do other subjects at school simply because they do not have as much artistic ability as others. Furthermore, many argue that learning to paint and draw at school helps children to temporarily focus their attention away from more academic subjects, and thus have time to process what they have learnt.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
secondary education systems around the world, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
a point where pupils who lack talent in non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like Art and music
are encouraged
or made to switch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. I
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. In the following paragraphs, I will put forth my arguments to support my point of view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that they have more aptitude with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is far easier to learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
that pupil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
. It could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in
further
life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can become a solid professional in their case.
Moreover
, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to prohibit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and push them to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which we consider right for pupils, they can have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to disgust of it.
As well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may have fall in depressions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
of that restrictions.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, learning uninteresting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
may open eyes on new opportunities.
For instance
, schoolchild, who has never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
match, can become a fine programmer if we can take his attention and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to making lessons in interesting shape for him.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, studying something new
Possible spelling mistake found.
ia
always assist to rise up the brain activity to which child can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his grades within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subjects.

To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not
be made
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at school
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have as much artistic ability as others.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argue that learning to paint and draw at school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
temporarily
focus their attention away from more academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, and
thus
have time to process what they have
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
.
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IELTS essay It is pointless making children who lack artistis talent learn painting and drawing in art classes at school

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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