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People working in the same place all their lives vs. people wordink in different places

People working in the same place all their lives vs. people wordink in different places DVQBp
IWorking in the same place your whole life might be boring, but for some people is the best and greatest choice they could've ever made. People who want to have different working experiences tend to change organizations between years or months. They are the ones who are likely to be more of an experimental and outstanding people, like to have different ideas and like to work in any position they can. However, there are some people who like the place they're working that decide to stay there until they no longer can, or an unexpected turn obligates them to quit. There might be several reasons why they think about this: First of all, because they are comfortable, not only mentally but economically as well, so they decide not to search for other propositions; secondly, they might be so occupied with personal stuff, or even the same job they already are that they do not even think of changing of organization as an incredible or a marvelous idea; and finally, they are to tired or even lazy to start to think of changing jobs as an idea to think and process about. I personally believe that changing jobs regularly is a great idea, for people to experience more settings and ambiences; until you found a place where you are happy and full with the position you are working on, or that you have peace mentally and you are so comfortable with your job that you don't even have to switch of organization. To conclude, changing jobs or organizations should be a personal decision depending on how comfortable you are feeling working wherever you are working. Even though it should be about how peaceful your mind is, it can also involve the economic area, so, you can also search more and more to find the place that: 1. you feel happy, and 2. you can recieve a good economic income.
Possible spelling mistake found.
IWorking
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
your whole life might be boring,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
the best and greatest choice they could've ever made.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who want to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
experiences tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
organizations between years or months. They are the ones who are likely to be more of an experimental and outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, like to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
and like to work in any position they can.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
they're
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
that decide to stay there until they no longer can, or an unexpected turn obligates them to quit. There might be several reasons why they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about this:
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are comfortable, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mentally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
economically
as well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they decide not to search for other propositions;
secondly
, they might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
occupied with personal stuff, or even the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they already are that they do not even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
of organization as an incredible or a marvelous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
; and
finally
, they are
Did you mean "too"?
to
tired or even lazy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
and process about.

I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
regularly
is a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to experience more settings and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ambiences
; until you found a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where you are happy and
The usual collocation for "full" is "of" not "with". Did you mean "full of"?
full with
the position you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on, or that you have peace mentally and you are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
comfortable with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that you don't even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
switch of organization.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
or organizations should be a personal decision depending on how comfortable you are feeling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
wherever you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
.
Even though
it should be about how peaceful your mind is, it can
also
involve the economic area,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, you can
also
search more and more to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that: 1.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
you
feel happy, and 2.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
you
can
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieve
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
economic income.
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IELTS essay People working in the same place all their lives vs. people wordink in different places

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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