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People work hard to buy more things in life. This has made our life more comfortable but it is pity that many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. To what extent you agree or disagree with the statement?

People work hard to buy more things in life. This has made our life more comfortable but it is pity that many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. KJB0
It is irrefutable that, recently human is more reliable to the job through purchase more things. few people believe that it has made our life flexible, but it has more affect on the traditional value. I am in Consummate discord with this notion. The predominant justification of my view point is that in these days most of person spend much time in their job profession. This is because they want to earn more money and fulfill all their desires such as a bungalow, expensive cars and the latest gizmos. Furthermore, Mankind also believe to have a numbers of business alternatives with a view to earning more profit from various sources. For Instance, In this modern era some of the youngsters do work hard to buy smartphones also they are leaving distance from their families. On the other hand, with the advancement of technology, human beings are more busy in their work. So, they do not have enough time to cook food. Thus, they generally lose their national value by not cooking food in the kitchen. Also they prefer to buy processed food from the super market which is trendy these days. To exemplify, In India ladies are switching to wear more western apparel rather than sarees. In other words, they losing the cultural values. To Compendium, I will legitimate that people aim for better standard of living and they work hard to live comfortable. However some people forget their traditional values and become materialistic when they get comfortable life with all amenities.
It is irrefutable that, recently human is more reliable to the job through
purchase
more things.
few
people
believe that it has made our life flexible,
but
it has more
affect
on the traditional
value
. I am in Consummate discord with this notion. The predominant justification of my view point is that in these days
most of person
spend much time in their job profession. This is
because
they want to earn more money and fulfill all their desires such as a bungalow, expensive cars and the latest gizmos.
Furthermore
, Mankind
also
believe to have
a numbers
of business alternatives with a view to earning more profit from various sources.
For Instance
, In this modern era
some of the
youngsters do work
hard
to
buy
smartphones
also
they are leaving distance from their families.
On the other hand
, with the advancement of technology, human beings are more busy in their work.
So
, they do not have
enough
time to cook food.
Thus
, they
generally
lose their national
value
by not cooking food in the kitchen.
Also
they prefer to
buy
processed food from the super market which is trendy these days. To exemplify, In India ladies are switching to wear more western apparel
rather
than sarees.
In other words
,
they losing
the cultural values. To Compendium, I will legitimate that
people
aim for better standard of
living and
they work
hard
to
live
comfortable.
However
some
people
forget their traditional values and become materialistic when they
get
comfortable life with all amenities.
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IELTS essay People work hard to buy more things in life. This has made our life more comfortable but it is pity that many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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