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people who watch violent tv shows or movies are more likely to become criminals. How far do you agree or disagree?

people who watch violent tv shows or movies are more likely to become criminals. How far 15klX
I totally disagree with the statement that people who watch violent tv shows or movies are more likely to become criminals. Blaming TV or movies for someone’s criminal activity is wrong. There is no study that found a causative link between watching violent tv shows and crime. Even if criminals do watch more violent shows and movies than the average person does, it does not mean that watching such content leads to committing crimes. It may very well be the case that people who are inclined to commit crimes are attracted to violence on the screen, and not the other way around. I am far from being a criminal, but I still like some shows and movies that might be considered violent. Most people know the difference between what goes on on their screen and real life. In fact, watching violence on TV can be an outlet to violent instincts. In other words, it might be that people like to watch violence on the screen instead of acting it out in real life. Crime usually abounds where there are no other alternatives to it. No TV show can cause someone to commit a serious crime, but growing up with bad people in poor neighborhoods can definitely do so. Most career criminals grew up without one (or both) of their parents. Without guidance, children and teens may go astray and be caught in the net of criminals. I do not mean that parents should let their children do whatever they want or watch whatever they want on TV, but having the right guidance is key in keeping young people off the streets and away from crime. People may commit crimes for various reasons, but it is not TV or the movies that make people do that.
I
totally
disagree with the statement that
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people
who
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watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
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shows
or
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movies
are more likely to become
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criminals
. Blaming TV or
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movies
for someone’s
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criminal
activity is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

There is no study that found a causative link between watching
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violent
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
and
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crime
. Even if
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criminals
do
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watch
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
than the average person does, it does not mean that watching such content leads to committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. It may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well be the case that
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people
who
are inclined
to commit
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crimes
are attracted
to violence on the screen, and not the other way around. I am far from being a
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criminal
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
still
like
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some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
and
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movies
that might
be considered
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violent
. Most
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people
know the difference between what goes
Possible typo: you repeated a word
on on
their screen and real life. In fact, watching violence on TV can be an outlet to
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violent
instincts.
In other words
, it might be that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
violence on the screen
instead
of acting it out in real life.

Crime
usually
abounds where there are no other alternatives to it. No TV
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show
can cause someone to commit a serious
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crime
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
growing up with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in poor neighborhoods can definitely do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Most career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
grew up without one (or both) of their parents. Without guidance, children and teens may go astray and
be caught
in the net of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. I do not mean that parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their children do whatever they want or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
whatever they want on TV,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
having the right guidance is key in keeping young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
off the streets and away from crime.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
may commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
for various reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not TV or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do that.
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IELTS essay people who watch violent tv shows or movies are more likely to become criminals. How far

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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