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People who travel to another country to live,work or study for a period of time often suffer badly from homesicknes.

At present, people are frequently moved one country to another country reason for higher educatio, job, or resident for a period of time after suffer from a mental diseases which is called homesickness. This essay will discuss the reasons behind it, and the way of solution to prevent from it. Nowadays, people are traveling country to country for better achievement, but affected by homesickness. For students, they are wantend to go abroad for higher education after complete their graduation. Some people wants to do better jobs in another country and get higher salary, and some people wants to settel themselves in another country. Firstly, people are home dependen, for students they are dependent on their parents and for workers they are dependent on famil. Secondly, love and attraction between family members, for this reason, people feel themselves alone when they are far from their famil. Moreover, new place, new people, and new cultures are affected people’s brain, because they do not match themselves with this. In addition, new language is another problem for people life, because they do not communicate with other people. For exampl, in Germany 80% people are talk to in German language. As a result, people cannot understand the language and so they feel boaring. Homesickness problem can be solved from people's mind. First of all, people need a proper counselin, students get that from their teachers and workers from their organisatioz. Furthermore, for students and workers, universities and job organisations need to increase vacation hours. For example, in Germany universities, students are completed one semeste, universities provide students six months vacation. Lastly, need to start language learning course, which is helped people to communicate with other. In conclusion, people are carefull about their career, so they are moved another country. So, counseling make people’s mind fresh and people are prevented themselves from homesickness problem.
At present,
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people
are
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
one
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country
to another
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country
reason for higher
Possible spelling mistake found.
educatio
, job, or resident for a period of time after suffer from
The plural noun “diseases” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a mental disease” or “mental diseases”?
a mental diseases
which
is called
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homesickness
. This essay will discuss the reasons behind it, and the way of solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
from it. Nowadays,
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people
are traveling
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country
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for better achievement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homesickness
. For
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students
, they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
wantend
to go abroad for higher education after complete their graduation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
wants
to do better jobs in another
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country
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher salary, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
wants
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
settel
themselves in another
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country
.
Firstly
,
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people
are home
Possible spelling mistake found.
dependen
, for
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students
they are dependent on their parents and for workers they are dependent on
Possible spelling mistake found.
famil
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and attraction between family members,
for this reason
,
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people
feel themselves alone when they are far from their
Possible spelling mistake found.
famil
.
Moreover
,
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new
place,
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new
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people
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
cultures are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
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people’s
brain,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not match themselves with this.
In addition
,
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new
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language
is another problem for
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people
life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not communicate with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
exampl
, in Germany 80%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are talk to in German
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot understand the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
language and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they feel
Possible spelling mistake found.
boaring
.
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Homesickness
problem can
be solved
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mind.
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
,
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people
need a proper
Possible spelling mistake found.
counselin
,
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
that from their teachers and workers from their
Possible spelling mistake found.
organisatioz
.
Furthermore
, for
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students
and workers, universities and job
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organisations’ is British English.
organisations
need to increase vacation hours.
For example
, in Germany universities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are completed
one
Possible spelling mistake found.
semeste
, universities provide
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students
six months vacation.
Lastly
, need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
learning course, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to communicate with other.
In conclusion
,
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people
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
carefull
about their career,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, counseling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mind fresh and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
themselves from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homesickness
problem.
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IELTS essay People who travel to another country to live, work or study for a period of time often suffer badly from homesicknes.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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