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Around the world more and more people today are living in urban areas. Why is this? What problems does this cause?

In today's world due to advent of technology and other facilites such as infrastructures, many people prefer to live in the city areas. The question actually is- what is the reason for living in urban areas? and what are the issues of this? In my opinion, especially in a developed countries, living in city area has numerous benefits. people get access to good good transportation facilities as people do not require to travel longer on foot to reach thier destination. In terms of health, many civilians can get a proper health treatment and facilities. another point is that they do not need to depend on unskilled doctors for treatment. Similarly, people also get same sort of comfort in education. They can easily get a chance to study in good schools and colleges which will help them to have a good career in later life. So, i clearly see that lifestyle of people living in city area seem to be much more easy, but there are some of the causes if people live in city areas only. The further reason is that, if people live in city areas, there will be environmental problems and pollution. In other words, due to higher population, resources are dfficult to get so, many people depend on enviromnemt for thier survival. They chop down the trees in the larger scale which leads to problems like climate change, deforestration and as an influence they will be forced to travel longer distance of foot for firewood and timber. Another point is that in city areas many people use smoky vehicles that emit harmful smoke and due to this there will problems like air pollution and people also have to suffer from heart related diseases. Thus, people have to undergo numerous circumstances if they tend to live in cities. To sum up, people live in city areas due to availability of insfrastucture like health education, while this may cause a serious if more and more people live in city areas.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world
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due
to advent of technology and other
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facilites
such as infrastructures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
prefer to
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live
in the city
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areas
. The question actually is- what is the reason for living in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
and
what are the issues of this?

In my opinion,
especially
in a
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developed countries
, living in city
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area
has numerous benefits.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
people
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get
access to
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good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
transportation facilities as
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people
do not require
Did you mean “traveling”, “travelling”? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, ‘require’ + ‘to’ takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to travel
longer on foot to reach
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
destination. In terms of health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
civilians can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a proper health treatment and facilities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
another
point is that they do not need to depend on unskilled doctors for treatment.
Similarly
,
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people
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
same sort of comfort in education. They can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to study in
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good
schools and colleges which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
career in later life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
clearly
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see
that lifestyle of
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people
living in city
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area
seem to be much more easy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
some of the
causes if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in city
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areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

The
further
reason is that, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, there will be environmental problems and pollution.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to higher population, resources are
Possible spelling mistake found.
dfficult
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
depend on
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviromnemt
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
survival. They chop down the trees in the larger scale which leads to problems like climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
deforestration
and as an influence they will
be forced
to travel longer distance of foot for firewood and timber. Another point is that in city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smoky vehicles that emit harmful smoke and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to this there will problems like air pollution and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer from heart related diseases.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
undergo numerous circumstances if they tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in cities.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to availability of
Possible spelling mistake found.
insfrastucture
like health education, while this may cause a serious if more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.

IELTS essay Around the world more and more people today are living in urban areas. Why is this? What problems does this cause?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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