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People who go to live in other countries should follow customs and tradition of the new country

People who go to live in other countries should follow customs and tradition of the new country Q2xq1
Around the world, a large number of people are leaving into another country from their habitats. Many people who is moving to live in other countries should learn rituals and tradition of the novel nationalities. This essay will discuss why people should learn customs and traditon of the new nationalities. First of all, I partly agree that the cultural norms and traditional events of migrating country is an absolutely imperative. In other words, everyone who is going to live in other ones must have their desires and decisions for exploring the customs and tradition of the new country. For instance, should you live in external country, you have to follow rituals and tradition of this one. That is why, existing the cultural standards and tradition of other countries is far more imperative. Secondly, cultural differences could be overcome at a large extent, when people start building relations with the population of another country. Indeed, there have a whirl of who migrate from different countries where are located in each part oc the world. For example, some countries have many types of nations, who came from other countries, they live together in a polite way. In conclusion, I completely believe that a person must follow the customs and traditions of a new society even if they do not live with nation, because it is necessary to improve imperative cultural norms and to put cultural differences to the first.
Around the world,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
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people
are leaving into another
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country
from their habitats.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "am", "are", "aren"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
is
moving to
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live
in
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other
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countries
should learn rituals and
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tradition
of the novel nationalities. This essay will discuss why
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people
should learn customs and
Possible spelling mistake found.
traditon
of the new nationalities.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
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cultural
norms and traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of migrating
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country
is an
absolutely
imperative. In
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other
words, everyone
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who
is going to
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live
in
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other
ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have their desires and decisions for exploring the customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
of the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, should you
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live
in external
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country
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow rituals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
of this one.
That is
why, existing the
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cultural
standards and
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tradition
of
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other
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countries
is far more imperative.

Secondly
,
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cultural
differences could
be overcome
at a large extent, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
building relations with the population of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Indeed
, there have a whirl of
Did you mean "whom"?
who
migrate from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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countries
where
are located
in each part
Possible spelling mistake found.
oc
the world.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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countries
have
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many
types of nations,
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who
came from
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together
Consider replacing "in a polite way" with the adverb for "polite"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a polite way
.

In conclusion
, I completely believe that a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
follow the customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
of a new society even if they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with nation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
imperative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
norms and to put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
differences to the
first
.

IELTS essay People who go to live in other countries should follow customs and tradition of the new country

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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