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People who cause their own illness through unhealthy lifestyle & poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

People who cause their own illness through unhealthy lifestyle & poor diets should have to pay more for health care. with this opinion? PQLg
Healthcare's cost all over the world is rising due to the rise in modern diseases which are the product of unhealthy lifestyle. This lifestyle includes a poor diet, smoking, and lack of exercise. I disagree to a great extent with the opinion expressed that people have to pay more for health care because of their poor diet and unhealthy lifestyle. To begin with, people who have unhealthy is mostly young adults, and most of them are college students or just passes out from college, which means they have out to face more or fewer problems such as paying their education loans, the burden of studies, or finding a good job, due to the fact the lifestyle of a person changes. Another point to showcase is that the fast rhythm of modern society people prefers frozen or instant cook food rather than cooking traditional ones. Those meals taste good but not good for health. We heard the thing that "prevention is better than cure", the people have to follow this concept. For instance, People nowadays having some diseases like cancer, typhoid due to the fact of an unhealthy lifestyle and poor diets. People have to slowly change their eating habits. However on the other hand, by forcing people who have unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets to pay more for their healthcare's. But we can guide them to rectify their unhealthy lifestyle. For example, the local health care center could invite people to participate in several activities organized by qualified doctors. People should actively participate in health awareness drives like, a marathon in that people run in some areas by taking banner or wearing printing t-shirt on that several awareness quotes are written. To put it in a nutshell, it is evident from the above analysis that paying more for healthcare's is likely to be a kind of penalty which might have some positive impact on people, but it can also reduce by giving them an awareness program so that they can easily get rid of the penalty.
Healthcare's cost all over the world is rising due to the rise in modern diseases which are the product of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
includes a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
diet, smoking, and lack of exercise. I disagree to a great extent with the opinion expressed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
diet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
lifestyle.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
is
mostly
young adults, and most of them are college students or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
passes out from college, which means they have out to face more or fewer problems such as paying their education loans, the burden of studies, or finding a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job, due to the fact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

Another point to showcase is that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
rhythm of modern society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
prefers
frozen or instant cook food
rather
than cooking traditional ones. Those meals taste
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. We heard the thing that
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
prevention is better than cure
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow this concept.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
nowadays having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases like cancer, typhoid due to the fact of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
diets.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
slowly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their eating habits.
However
on the other hand
, by forcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
diets to pay more for their healthcare's.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we can guide them to rectify their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
For example
, the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care center could invite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to participate in several activities organized by qualified doctors.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
actively
participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
awareness drives like, a marathon in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
run in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas by taking banner or wearing printing t-shirt on that several awareness quotes
are written
. To put it in a nutshell, it is evident from the above analysis that paying more for healthcare's is likely to be a kind of penalty which might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
by giving them an awareness program
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of the penalty.
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IELTS essay People who cause their own illness through unhealthy lifestyle & poor diets should have to pay more for health care. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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