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In any organisation, a team works to maximise effectiveness in the company and raise the morale, creativity, planning, efficiency, initiative as well as learning

In any organisation, a team works to maximise effectiveness in the company and raise the morale, creativity, planning, efficiency, initiative as well as learning bEeDP
"In any organisation, a team works to maximise effectiveness in the company and raise the morale, creativity, planning, efficiency, initiative as well as learning" 1. These days, while living in a more and more developing society, teamwork is one of the essential skills that a global citizen needs. Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha has a quote about this topic: "Teamwork is the secret that makes common people achieve an uncommon result" 2. Thus, we can aware of the advantages of teamwork, but this topic is also a debatable issue when many people suppose that teamwork brings trouble. I choose this idea not only to clarify the opinions of writers but also to express my viewpoints.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
In any
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, a team works to
Possible spelling mistake. 'maximise' is British English.
maximise
effectiveness in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and raise the morale, creativity, planning, efficiency, initiative
as well
as learning
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
1. These days, while living in a more and more developing society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teamwork
is one of the essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that a global citizen needs.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ifeanyi
Enoch
Possible spelling mistake found.
Onuoha
has a quote about this topic:
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Teamwork is the secret that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
achieve an uncommon result
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
2.
Thus
, we
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
can aware
of the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teamwork
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this topic is
also
a debatable issue when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suppose that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teamwork
brings trouble. I choose this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to clarify the opinions of writers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to express my viewpoints.

IELTS essay In any organisation, a team works to maximise effectiveness in the company and raise the morale, creativity, planning, efficiency, initiative as well as learning

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
113 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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