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Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should, therefore, be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money. What are your opinions on this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your knowledge or experience.

Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should, therefore, be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money. What are your opinions on this? Pd5X
In the vast majority of nations, the number of people in debt increases steadily. Because of the fact that a chunk of them is unable to repay, experts throughout the developed and developing world claim that taking out a loan should be made more difficult for an individual. Personally, I advocate their point of view; however, the possibility of taking out a quick loan should not be abandoned. Let us get it started with the paramount reason why the changes are indispensable. These days because of the fact that the contemporary society is exceedingly materialistic, a myriad of people purchase things they actually do not desire and cannot afford. The research conducted by Harvard University indicates that 65% of all the consumers during the period from 2019-2020 spent approixmately $1000 on gadgets they never used. The possibility of using credit card and taking out a loan helps them to get into a debt fastly. It has serious complications. The fundamental one is the fact that it usually implies considerable financial problems for a family. This issue is especially omnipresent in indigent countries that because of huge personal debts, a profusion of families lose the roof over their heads. Therefore, the authorities should undertake steps to tackle this phenomenon. However, sometimes a possibility of taking out a quick loan is requisite. There are individuals that cannot afford acquiring a costly product they need immediately. For instance, some students need to obtain a laptop or a desktop computer because it is a mandatory device to be successful at the university. A plethora of students do not earn any money and have to lend some sum from a bank. In such cases, taking out a loan should not be difficult. Furthermore, loans are immensely vital for some families that because of financial situation cannot afford obtaining staple products. For those individuals credit cards are an only way to survive such an uncomfortable period. To recapitulate, the government should regulate law regarding to lending an immense sum of money. It causes huge personal debts that may be detrimental to the family life. Nevertheless, for some groups of people, credit card and quick loans are completely crucial and the possibility of using these should not be constrained.
In the vast majority of nations, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debt
increases
steadily
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
Because of the fact that
a chunk of them is unable to repay, experts throughout the developed and developing world claim that taking out a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
should
be made
more difficult for an individual.

Personally
, I advocate their point of view;
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possibility
of taking out a quick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
should not
be abandoned
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with the paramount reason why the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are indispensable. These days
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
the contemporary society is
exceedingly
materialistic, a myriad of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things they actually do not desire and cannot afford. The research conducted by Harvard University indicates that 65% of all the consumers during the period from 2019-2020 spent
Possible spelling mistake found.
approixmately
$1000 on gadgets they never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possibility
of using credit card and taking out a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debt
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastly
. It has serious complications. The fundamental one is the fact that it
usually
implies considerable financial problems for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This issue is
especially
omnipresent in indigent countries that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of huge personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debts
, a profusion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
lose the roof over their heads.
Therefore
, the authorities should undertake steps to tackle this phenomenon.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possibility
of taking out a quick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
is requisite. There are individuals that cannot afford acquiring a costly product they need immediately.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students need to obtain a laptop or a desktop computer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a mandatory device to be successful at the university. A plethora of students do not earn any money and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
lend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sum from a bank. In such cases, taking out a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
should not be difficult.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
are
immensely
vital for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of financial situation cannot afford
If 'afford' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to obtain".
obtaining
staple products. For those individuals credit cards are an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to survive such an uncomfortable period.

To recapitulate, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should regulate law
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
lending an immense sum of money. It causes huge personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debts
that may be detrimental to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life.
Nevertheless
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, credit card and quick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
are completely crucial and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possibility
of using these should not
be constrained
.

IELTS essay Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should, therefore, be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money. What are your opinions on this?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
372 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should, therefore, be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money. What are your opinions on this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your knowledge or experience.