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People to achieve a balance between their work and life , but only a few could achieve it .what are the reasons and solutions for this?

People to achieve a balance between their work and life, but only a few could achieve it. what are the reasons and solutions for this? 7JQJn
Owing to the fact that work life balance is important for a successful life. but, only a few could achieve this. this essay will highlight the reasons for this trend along with the ways to solve this. On the one hand, the main reason for an unsuccessful work life is competitive environment and advancement of technology. To begin with, today in this competitive world organization are competing with each other to be at the top position. for instance. , in Apple Companies employees are working more than twelve hours to maintain their prestigious position. Likewise, advancement of technology play a crucial role in employees life. To explain, one's the employee have returned to home they may ask to maintain their communication with superiors aswellas consumers through email or whatsup. Consequently, the employees will not get enough time to spend with their loved ones and friends. Despite the above mentioned problem there are solutions too. Firstly, the government should impose a strict working hours for the workers and doing overtime should not be alloweded because it will harm the mental, physical health and they will get considerable time to spent with ther family. Secondly, organization should encourage the employees to meditate after every two hours this will enhances the performance of the employee and boost the economy of the company. Moreover, employee should not not maintain any communication with their supervisor after 6pm. To conclude, the work life balance can be achieved by imposing a strict working hours, meditating after long working hours and switching of the technology in the late evening.
Owing to the fact that work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
balance is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few could achieve this.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay will highlight the reasons for this trend along with the ways to solve this. On the one hand, the main reason for an unsuccessful work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is competitive environment and advancement of technology. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
in this competitive world organization are competing with each other to be at the top position.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
in Apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
more than twelve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to maintain their prestigious position.
Likewise
, advancement of technology play a crucial role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, one's the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
have returned to home they may ask to maintain their communication with superiors
Possible spelling mistake found.
aswellas
consumers through email or
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsup
.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to spend with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones and friends. Despite the above mentioned problem there are solutions too.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose a strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "hour"?
hours
for the workers and doing overtime should not be
Possible spelling mistake found.
alloweded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will harm the mental, physical
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
considerable time to spent with
Possible spelling mistake found.
ther
family.
Secondly
, organization should encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to meditate after every two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
this will enhances the performance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
and boost the economy of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
should
Double negatives are discouraged in standard English. Can you reformulate this phrase or is a comma missing?
not not
maintain any communication with their supervisor after 6pm.
To conclude
, the work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
balance can
be achieved
by imposing a strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "hour"?
hours
, meditating after long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and switching of the technology in the late evening.
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IELTS essay People to achieve a balance between their work and life, but only a few could achieve it. what are the reasons and solutions for this?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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