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People think children should make own decisions to become independent, others believe they become selfish. Discuss both views and share your opinion.

People think children should make own decisions to become independent, others believe they become selfish. xxqO6
People argue that children should be able to decide what to want to wear, eat and watch to make them independent, however, others believe that the freedom merely make them selfish. In my opinion, I definitely agree that it is vital for children to have liberty in implementing their thoughts, although, they are too young to distinguish between good and bad, parents must help them with taking the right decision. Firstly, it is extremely crucial for adolescents to know how to my their own choices in lifestyle or future career, as it paves a successful path in their life. In addition, which the decisions they make, understand about their consequences and will lead to taking responsibilities of their own actions. The abilities and the freedom to make choices will promote them in dealing conflicts and challenges in the real world as they grow up. On the contrary, it is believed that adolescents with the freedom to do things on their own will make them insensitive towards others feelings. They start thinking merely about themselves and never care about others emotions. If a child is rendered with doing everything as his wish and parents given the liberty to put his choices on top priority it may lead affecting others. For instance, while watching TV with family, the child will always put his likes first and start watching his favorite cartoon and will never think of bothering to care about what the left of the family want to watch. Therefore, it is crucial for a guiding support to be added for kids. In the conclusion, children must be given the freedom to make their own decisions taking into regard the consequences and helping them as a guiding source from behind by their parents.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
argue that children should be able to decide what to want to wear, eat and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them independent,
however
, others believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
merely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them selfish. In my opinion, I definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is vital for children to have liberty in implementing their thoughts, although, they are too young to distinguish between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them with taking the right decision.

Firstly
, it is
extremely
crucial for adolescents to know how to my their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices in lifestyle or future career, as it paves a successful path in their life.
In addition
, which the decisions they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
, understand about their consequences and will lead to taking responsibilities of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
actions. The abilities and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
choices will promote them in dealing conflicts and challenges in the real world as they grow up.

On the contrary
, it
is believed
that adolescents with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to do things on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them insensitive towards others feelings. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
thinking
merely
about themselves and never care about others emotions. If a child
is rendered
with doing everything as his wish and parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the liberty to put his choices on top priority it may lead affecting others.
For instance
, while watching TV with family, the child will always put his likes
first
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
watching his favorite cartoon and will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of bothering to care about what the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
of the family want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.
Therefore
, it is crucial for a guiding support to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
for kids.

In the conclusion, children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions taking into regard the consequences and helping them as a guiding source from behind by their parents.
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IELTS essay People think children should make own decisions to become independent, others believe they become selfish.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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