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INCREASING NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE CHOOSING COSMETOLOGY SURGERY TO IMPROVE THEIR APPEARANCE.

INCREASING NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE CHOOSING COSMETOLOGY SURGERY TO IMPROVE THEIR APPEARANCE. yL3gV
There can be seen a rising trend of having surgical transformations to enhance the outer look of individuals. This can be due to the set glam standards, made by social media and numerous advertisements are done by makeup industries. I believe that this can put drastic effects on humans, making them feel uncomfortable, about their natural beauty. Social media and beauty bloggers have set high standards that give inferiority complex to people. Moreover, cosmetic industries have gone crazy for selling their goods and services by putting enormous advertisements to attract people. Also, there is a trend that has been set on social media i. e. having a pointed nose and bold lips that makeup surgeries made possible. For example, Botox was the famous surgery for having bold lips, so the girls with small lips go for it. Our natural beauty is the uniqueness that is gifted to us by God. I firmly believe that appreciating one's simplicity and beauty are more essential rather than persuading them to have makeup abscission. Also, if one is having self-confidence in him than no one can make them feel uncomfortable about their looks. We should tell our-self that we are perfect and beautiful, rather than listening to other makeup influencers and surgeons. As they are only promoting their business without the concerns that our face can also be destroyed by the failed surgeries. In conclusion, more and more people are looking for cosmetic surgery to enhance their looks. The main reason for this can be numerous advertisements that are done by makeup industries and the set beauty standards on social media by beauty bloggers and makeup artists. I firmly believe that it can have drastic impacts on society making individuals feel more insecure and doubtful about their natural beauty. This can cause more depression and stress among youngster.
There can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a rising trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
surgical transformations to enhance the outer look of individuals. This can be due to the set glam standards, made by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and numerous advertisements
are done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makeup
industries. I believe that this can put drastic effects on humans, making them feel uncomfortable, about their natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
bloggers have set high standards that give inferiority complex to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Moreover
, cosmetic industries have gone crazy for selling their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services by putting enormous advertisements to attract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Also
, there is a trend that has
been set
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a pointed nose and bold lips that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makeup
surgeries made possible.
For example
, Botox was the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
surgery for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
bold lips,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the girls with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
lips go for it. Our natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
is the uniqueness that
is gifted
to us by God. I
firmly
believe that appreciating one's simplicity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
are more essential
rather
than persuading them to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makeup
abscission.
Also
, if one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
self-confidence in him than no one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel uncomfortable about their looks. We should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
our-self that we are perfect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
,
rather
than listening to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makeup
influencers and surgeons.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
promoting their business without the concerns that our face can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by the failed surgeries.
In conclusion
, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are looking for cosmetic surgery to enhance their looks. The main reason for this can be numerous advertisements that
are done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makeup
industries and the set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
standards on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
bloggers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makeup
artists. I
firmly
believe that it can have drastic impacts on society making individuals feel more insecure and doubtful about their natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
. This can cause more depression and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
among youngster.
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IELTS essay INCREASING NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE CHOOSING COSMETOLOGY SURGERY TO IMPROVE THEIR APPEARANCE.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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