Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should spend money on things that are long-lasting, like expensive jewelry, rather than spending money on short-lived pleasures, like traveling. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

People should spend money on things that are long-lasting, like expensive jewelry, rather than spending money on short-lived pleasures, like traveling. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Ll6Ep
Today, people have become more superficial and shallow and their lust for becoming superior from others is increasing day by day. However, there are some people who still believes in making memories and live like there is no competitions going on with the other. So, I completely disagree with the statement that people should spend on money like jewelry than on pleasures like travelling. I feel this way for several reasons which I will explore in the following essay. Firstly, Even you are spending your money on like expensive things there is no guarantee that it will last longer. For example, last year, I bought a beautiful designer bag for my birthday, I was so happy and can not explains my joy after buying that but it did not last long. Moreover, I took it to my birthday party to show it off and I was showing them there was two three small holes in the bag and I was in shock and speechless. It was a small bug who did the holes. I was devastated because I bought that bag from my savings and was appalled at the designer as they made the bag from such a cheap materials. So my point is, even the expensive things sometimes will not last long and spending your precious money on these things can be idiotic. Secondly, Short lived pleasures has its own place in your heart, even you spend a lot of money on that but I will you leave you with live long memories. For instance, I remember, last month, I and my family went to Switzerland, My father was really saving the money for this vacation but we were very confused if we should this money on this small adventure or rather buy a car or some jewelry. But we decided to go for vacation and i was the best experience of our life. it was most happiest days as we enjoyed so much and even it was for a week, it was like a dream come true for us and gave us some many life long memories that we will cherish forever. Finally, In my conclusion, I want to to say that people should spend their money on things which would make them and happy and even it is for short-term experience.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become more superficial and shallow and their lust for becoming superior from others is increasing day by day.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
still
believes in making memories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
like there is no competitions going on with the other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I completely disagree with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
like jewelry than on pleasures like travelling. I feel this way for several reasons which I will explore in the following essay.

Firstly
, Even you are spending your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on like expensive things there is no guarantee that it will last longer.
For example
, last year, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
designer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
for my birthday, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy and can not
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "explain"
explains
my joy after buying that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it did not last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
.
Moreover
, I took it to my birthday party to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
it
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
off and
I was showing them there was two three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
holes in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
bag and
I was in shock and speechless. It was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
bug who did the holes. I
was devastated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
from my savings and
was appalled
at the designer as they made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
from such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "material"?
materials
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
my point is, even the expensive things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
will not last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
and spending your precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on these things can be idiotic.

Secondly
, Short
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
pleasures has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
place in your heart, even you spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I will you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
you with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
memories.
For instance
, I remember, last month, I and my family went to Switzerland, My father was
really
saving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for this vacation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
confused if we should this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
adventure or
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a car or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jewelry.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we decided to go for vacation and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was the best experience of our life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
was
Use only "happiest" (without 'most') when you use the superlative.
most happiest
days as we enjoyed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much and even it was for a week, it was like a dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true for us and gave us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Use "much" or "little" with uncountable nouns.
many
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
memories that we will cherish forever.

Finally
, In my conclusion, I want
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on things which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them and happy and even it is for short-term experience.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay People should spend money on things that are long-lasting, like expensive jewelry, rather than spending money on short-lived pleasures, like traveling. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should spend money on things that are long-lasting, like expensive jewelry, rather than spending money on short-lived pleasures, like traveling. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.