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People should manipulate hormones for their own purposes. To what extent do you agree?

People should manipulate hormones for their own purposes. PREmp
It is true that people should control and handle hormones for their own intentions by themselves. Although manipulating them on purpose are appropriate, I believe the downsides should be taken into consideration as well. There are many advantages in manipulating hormones for their own aims. Initially, hormones play a vital role in our life such as regulating your body’s processes like hunger, blood pressure, or even sexual desire, it also affect your emotion and behaviour. For instance, hormone melatonin let our steam off after nerve-racking time of study and work, regulate the biological clock, which is very crucial to your body. Such is one of the many benefits of handling hormones for own purposes. On the other hand, there is also some disadvantages in controlling the amount of hormones. If we give an injection of hormones overweightly, it may cause bad effect of physical and mental health. As the result, the imbalance of handling tiroxin hormone is the root cause of goiter, increase the heart rate, and your blood pressure. In addition, it also cause the basedow syndrome which is deleterious to your health. Thus, there are many unbenefited impact that affect our health if you don’t manipulate your hormones in the right way. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I firmly hold the view that hormones are the key factor influencing people’ productivity and behaviours with other ones. Last but not least manipulating hormones will achieve a resounding success.
It is true that
people
should control and handle
hormones
for their
own
intentions by themselves. Although manipulating them on purpose are appropriate, I believe the downsides should
be taken
into consideration
as well
.

There are
many
advantages in manipulating
hormones
for their
own
aims.
Initially
,
hormones
play a vital role in our life such as regulating your body’s processes like hunger, blood pressure, or even sexual desire, it
also
affect
your emotion and
behaviour
.
For instance
,
hormone
melatonin
let
our steam off after nerve-racking time of study and work, regulate the biological clock, which is
very
crucial to your body. Such is one of the
many
benefits of handling
hormones
for
own
purposes.

On the other hand
, there is
also
some
disadvantages in controlling the amount of
hormones
. If we give an injection of
hormones
overweightly
, it may cause
bad
effect of physical and mental health. As the result, the imbalance of handling
tiroxin
hormone
is the root cause of goiter, increase the heart rate, and your blood pressure.
In addition
, it
also
cause
the
basedow
syndrome which is deleterious to your health.
Thus
, there are
many
unbenefited
impact that affect our health if you don’t manipulate your
hormones
in the right way.

In conclusion
, for the reasons mentioned above, I
firmly
hold the view that
hormones
are the key factor influencing
people
’ productivity and
behaviours
with other ones. Last
but
not least manipulating
hormones
will achieve a resounding success.
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IELTS essay People should manipulate hormones for their own purposes.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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