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People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. MYpa
Some people hold the common belief that the local customs and traditions should be adapted by new immigrants. From personal perception, I totally agree with this view. On the one hand, foreigners will have many difficult without understanding the local culture. Firstly, it would be impossible for people to grasp a business opportunity if they do not follow the local cultures. Therefore, when they star a business, they have to know exactly local business customs in order to be successful. The second point is that some actions will be illegal the law in the host country, which is common in other countries. For instance, if they smoke in a non-smoking country, they will be fined extremely heavily. On the other hand, there are many advantages to following the local customs and cultures. The first reason is that the local would like to welcome people who are willing to learn about their customs without the judgment. In contrast, this also helps new immigrants to easily integrate into local cultures, make new friends and new relationships. Furthermore, foreigners could participate in local traditional activities, which increasing their understanding of different regions. To be more specific, when they take part in enjoy festivals in new country, they are learnt many new things and relieved under pressure after long hours of works. In conclusion, there are many benefits of learning about the cultures and traditions of the nations that people travel as opportunities for business, improve many new knowledges and making new friends and relationships.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the common belief that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs and traditions should
be adapted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
immigrants. From personal perception, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

On the one hand, foreigners will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficult without understanding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Firstly
, it would be impossible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to grasp a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
opportunity if they do not follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
Therefore
, when they star a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
know exactly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
customs in order to be successful. The second point is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions will be illegal the law in the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, which is common in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
, if they smoke in a non-smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they will
be fined
extremely
heavily
.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. The
first
reason is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
would like to welcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are willing to learn about their customs without the judgment.
In contrast
, this
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
immigrants to
easily
integrate into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
relationships.
Furthermore
, foreigners could participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
traditional activities, which increasing their understanding of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions. To be more specific, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in enjoy festivals in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they are
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things and relieved under pressure after long hours of works.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of learning about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and traditions of the nations that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel as opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends and relationships.
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IELTS essay People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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