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many museums charge for admission while others are free do you think the advantage of charging people for admission to museum outweigh disadvantage

many museums charge for admission while others are free do you think the advantage of charging people for admission to museum outweigh disadvantage bjPQ
Museum play a vital role in human life. Through thilese traditional places people can learn about the historical period. However, majority of the museums set entry charges for masses. On the other side some traditional places are free of cost according to my opinion charging of our and entry fee is beneficial for museum madness and also museum authorities pay employee salaries through this money. In the following paragraphs, this essay will discuss the advantage of entry fees for traditional places. To begin with, there are a plethora of benefits of admission fee for majority of the museum are very old more than one century. These with time period and maintenance are very estional. That is the main reason why entry fee is important for visitors. Because with admission fee only interested people can be visiting that places due to the fact that places is the greatest historical part of our culture. Secondly, within the India there are millions employees is working in museum. So, with the help of entry fee museum authorities can easily pay their salaries through the this money. Furthermore, while entry fee identification of visitors is compulsory in present time with admission fee unwanted people never enter the museums. Because if any single person do misshappening within museum that person can be easily identify. As safety reason admission fee is important. Moreover, that all money will be used for upgradation of museum with technology. However with entry fee is beneficial as museum authorities but as poor people it is not much beneficial. In conclusion, although it is not good for people government must provide best option for four people because entry fee of traditional places is more beneficial with with a plethora of face according to my opinion and of the week one day free for people is a best for people as well as museum authorities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "plays".
play
a vital role in human life. Through
Possible spelling mistake found.
thilese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn about the historical period.
However
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
charges for masses. On the other side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are free of cost according to my opinion charging of our and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
madness and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
pay employee salaries through this money. In the following paragraphs, this essay will discuss the advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
places.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are a plethora of benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
for
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
more than one century. These with time period and maintenance are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
estional
.
That is
the main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for visitors.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
interested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be visiting that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is the greatest historical part of our culture.
Secondly
, within the India there are millions employees is working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
can
easily
pay their salaries through
Maybe you need to remove the second determiner so that only "the" or "this" is left.
the this
money.

Furthermore
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
identification of visitors is compulsory in present time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
unwanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never enter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
if any single person do
Possible spelling mistake found.
misshappening
within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
that person can be
easily
Consider using a past participle here: "identified".
identify
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
safety reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Moreover
, that all money will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
upgradation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
with technology.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
is beneficial as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it is not much beneficial.

In conclusion
, although it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
A determiner is probably missing here: "provide the best".
provide best
option for four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is more beneficial
Possible typo: you repeated a word
with with
a plethora of face according to my opinion and of the week one day free for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
.
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IELTS essay many museums charge for admission while others are free do you think the advantage of charging people for admission to museum outweigh disadvantage

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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