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People should follow the customs and tradition when people start to live in a new country To what extend do you agree or disagree?

People should follow the customs and tradition when people start to live in a new country nJMg
It is believed by some individual that they people ought to embrace customs and tradition of those nations where they live. I strongly disagree with the statement and believe that people must not forget their own tradition and culture, which nation they live. To embark on, a lot of people these days go overseas to study or work, there is trend that many student these days go to different nations such as Australia, America, Canade to pursue their higher education. These yound generation tend to follow culture where they live because they are more influence by the environment. Furthermore, they have lot of foreign friend and they like to follow the footprint of their colleague; therefore, this would cause problem the their family and society where they were born. For instance, in many countries there is culture of living together before marriage, but this is new to people who were born in countries like Nepal and India, and many youth follow this type of culture which is not digestive to their culture. Another example is people in foreigncountry live separately with family member when they cross 16 year, but in our culture we live life together with our family whole life. So, every individual should feel proud of their culture and tradition, and always follow where ever they live. Secondly, family living abroad should teach their children about the importance of own culture and tradition. Parents have to create own cultural environment in their home. We have our own beautiful culture, for instance, we always worship god in early in the morning, and we have the culture of living together with family members and serving our elderly ones in their old age. on the top of that, many people think that to stay in certain culture it is necessary to follow their tradition, but it is completely wrong. We can stay in peacefully not matter what culture you follow. In conclusion, it is the responsibility of every citizen to protect their culture and tradition, so each individual needs to follow these culture and tradition despite which country they stay.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individual that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ought to embrace customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
of those nations where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
. I
strongly
disagree with the statement and believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not forget their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, which nation they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

To embark on,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days go overseas to study or work, there is trend that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
student these days go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations such as Australia, America,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Canade
to pursue their higher education. These
Possible spelling mistake found.
yound
generation tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are more influence by the environment.
Furthermore
, they have
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
foreign
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
friend and
they like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the footprint of their colleague;
therefore
, this would cause problem the their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and society where they
were born
.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of living together
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
marriage,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is new to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
were born
in countries like Nepal and India, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which is not digestive to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. Another example is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
foreigncountry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
separately
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member when they cross 16 year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
life together with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
whole life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, every individual should feel proud of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
, and always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
where ever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
living abroad should teach their children about the importance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
. Parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cultural environment in their home. We have our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
,
for instance
, we always worship god in early in the morning, and we have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of living together with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and serving our elderly ones in their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the top of that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that to stay in certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
it is necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. We can stay in
peacefully
not matter what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
you follow.

In conclusion
, it is the responsibility of every citizen to protect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
each individual needs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
despite which country they stay.
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IELTS essay People should follow the customs and tradition when people start to live in a new country

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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