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People should focus on dressing code or productivity when they are at work

People should focus on dressing code or productivity when they are at work 7J06b
The dressing code at work is continuing to be a controversial issue between employees and their companies. While some people believe that workers should dress stylishly, others say the efficiency of work far outweighs appearance. Personally, I strongly agree with the later opinion and will discuss them both in this essay First of all, it is undeniable fact that quality of work is the most important factor for any successful organization. Some people do not feel comfortable when they wear formal clothes at work. To illustrate this point, I would like to mention that manual laborers like workers do not need to wear elegant clothes because no one cares about their appearance. Workers just pay attention to work in order to contribute value-adding for their companies and earn for their livings. Another point I would like to make is that some jobs do not require stylish dress. For example, scientists who work in the lab just need to wear simple clothes like laboratory clothing which helps them to save a great deal of time to develop their skills rather than waste time choosing clothes. On the other hand, people who work for big companies have to dress smartly at work because the dress-code of employees should reflect their values. Now let’s take air hostess for example. They usually dress in elegant and polite clothes as they are supposed to represent the image of the company. Therefore, hostesses must always look best at all times In conclusion, I once again restate my opinion that employees should give more importance to the quality of work because it is the main factor to develop their companies. If people have to interact with customers or work for large organizations, I recommend they should dress elegantly
The dressing code at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is continuing to be a controversial issue between employees and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that workers should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
stylishly
, others say the efficiency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
far outweighs appearance.
Personally
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the later opinion and will discuss them both in this essay

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is undeniable fact that quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor for any successful organization.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not feel comfortable when they wear formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. To illustrate this point, I would like to mention that manual laborers like workers do not need to wear elegant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no one cares about their appearance. Workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
pay attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in order to contribute value-adding for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and earn for their livings.

Another point I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs do not require stylish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
.
For example
, scientists who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the lab
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to wear simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
like laboratory clothing which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to save a great deal of time to develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
rather
than waste time choosing clothes.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
smartly
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the dress-code of employees should reflect their values.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s take air hostess
for example
. They
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
in elegant and polite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
as they
are supposed
to represent the image of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Therefore
, hostesses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
always look best at all times

In conclusion
, I once again restate my opinion that employees should give more importance to the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the main factor to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
interact with customers or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for large organizations, I recommend they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
elegantly
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IELTS essay People should focus on dressing code or productivity when they are at work

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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