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People should be encouraged to do leisure activities such as mountain climbing or sailing alone round the world, even though these activities may be dangerous, because this will help to develop their courage and confidence. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

People should be encouraged to do leisure activities such as mountain climbing or sailing alone round the world, even though these activities may be dangerous, because this will help to develop their courage and confidence. with this opinion? PWdQK
It is universally accepted that, leisure time activities such as climbing to mountain, sailing alone round the world emerge some risk factors, although for some people's opinion is thr best way for inspiring person and creating confidence. From my point of view, people who are enthusiactic in some dangerous activities, must be advocated because of their doing the best. And now I am goint to explain why they have to be supported even though avtivity's danger. First and foremost, in the development of characterist of ability, it act much more essential. It is evident that, endorphin hormons are growing up like instant form, so that people do not get tired during a day. On the other hand, in most countries, are paid attention, that is why people can improve their career getting different degrees. Also providing regard at the end, is another option for it. Another reason can be demostrated that goverment will recognize with success. Furthermore, as we saying, some danger factors have to be taken into consideration. so it icncludes ensuring equipment and notificating before about activities. Otherwise results on with injuring and death. In conclusion, prevented some injuring and even death factor, these sports have to be encouraged.
It is
universally
accepted
that, leisure time activities such as climbing to mountain, sailing alone round the world emerge
some
risk
factors, although for
some
people
's opinion is
thr best
way for inspiring person and creating confidence. From my point of view,
people
who are
enthusiactic
in
some
dangerous
activities,
must
be advocated
because
of their doing the best. And
now
I am
goint
to
explain
why they
have to
be supported
even though
avtivity
's
danger
.
First
and foremost, in the development of
characterist
of ability, it
act
much more essential. It is evident that, endorphin
hormons
are growing up like instant form,
so
that
people
do not
get
tired during a day.
On the other hand
, in most countries,
are paid
attention,
that is
why
people
can
improve
their career getting
different
degrees.
Also
providing regard at the
end
, is another option for it. Another reason can be
demostrated
that
goverment
will recognize with success.
Furthermore
, as
we saying
,
some
danger
factors
have to
be taken
into consideration.
so
it
icncludes
ensuring equipment and
notificating
before
about activities.
Otherwise
results on with injuring and death.
In conclusion
,
prevented
some
injuring and even death factor, these sports
have to
be encouraged
.
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IELTS essay People should be encouraged to do leisure activities such as mountain climbing or sailing alone round the world, even though these activities may be dangerous, because this will help to develop their courage and confidence. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
201 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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